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Am I the only one that feels this way??

my daughter is a little over a month old, and I am the one that feeds, changes and holds her when she is fussy all the time, and my husband doesnt offer much or acts like he doesnt wants anything to do with her...is this normal

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sweetbaby4464

Asked by sweetbaby4464 at 7:49 PM on May. 12, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (10)
  • Have you asked him to be more involved?
    Amanda7891

    Answer by Amanda7891 at 7:54 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Ummm...not really. You should ask him to help out more or you will go nuts. I tried to do everything myself at first, but he helped make the baby, too!

    My hubby was pretty good, though and he always wanted to hold her.
    Indygirl18

    Answer by Indygirl18 at 7:55 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • At first my DH didn't want much to do with my son when he was born because he was scared to handle him. But he over came with some encouragment *** from me. So hang in there it may take some time for him to understand that it is needed and it helps you out.
    Ash3807

    Answer by Ash3807 at 7:58 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I did most of it in the beginning because I was BF'ing and Hubbie worked during the day. He's hold him and rock him at night, but that was about all he could do.
    Our son is now 5 1/2 months and Hubbie is VERY involved. He loves to play with him and he helps with diaper changes, feedings, baths, and putting him to sleep when his help is needed.

    I for one would be concerned about your Husband's behavior. If he's not showing much interest or desire to be involved I think it's something you need to address, quickly.
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 8:32 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • My Dh has always been very involved with the babies, even though I breastfeed exclusively, there is plenty else to do!
    Take a look at your own behavior. Are you telling him how to hold her or complaining about the way he puts her diaper on? If he is being critiqued at every turn he will stop wanting to do anything. I nearly bit my tongue off a few times when I saw what a bad job my DH did putting on a diaper, or the crazy outfit he would put baby in! I learned to "train" myself to keep my mouth shut (unless baby was in danger of course!) If he is trying to help and looks frustrated, ask him "Would you like a suggestion?"
    I know this seems kind of lame but it really is true. It is kind of a guy thing.
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 8:44 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I think for some men they are a bit intimidated and need a little encouragement.
    MoonLover06

    Answer by MoonLover06 at 8:59 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • My husband was the same way and it almost broke us up. He was being very stupid about it. He told me our son cries to much (duh he is a baby) and would only pay attention to our daughter. He also told me he was jealous of the attention I was giving our son and wasn't giving him attention. what am I suppose to do, my son does come first because not only do I have his food he is a newborn. Men can be so immature.
    hosein

    Answer by hosein at 9:13 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I still have to ask my husband to do stuff. Sometimes I resent that he doesn't offer and I have to ask him. Sometimes the men feel left out. They feel they can't handle the baby as well as you (which is usually true.) Hand him your daughter. Make him involved. He should not have a problem with it. He may think that you don't mind doing all the work because you are so good with the baby and that is the mom thing. But let him know, it gets old. You never get a break. Your job doesn't start at 9 and end at 5. No it's 24 hours. Let him know you need a break and you need him to help. And just hand him the baby every once in a while. He needs to know how to care for her. Would you leave him alone with her if you had to run to the store. Daddy should be able to do all that mommy can do except breast feed. You are not the only one who goes through this. I was just thinking earlier that I wish my man would help more with bath time.
    Tickledtrauma

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 9:36 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • sadly a man will not do these things voluntarily lol im on kid #2 and i have to ask himt o do things constantly. you just get used to it
    ssnelson26

    Answer by ssnelson26 at 10:19 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • For the first 6 weeks when I was home before I went back to work, my so was somewhat similar. He wouldn't get up at night, he rarely would help me out with the baby or the cleaning. And then I broke down one day, and at first we faught, and then I was able to get my feelings out. And things have been better since. He has him by him self 4 nights out of the week when I am at work, so he had to get over it fast. If I were you I would talk to him, its too much stress for you to handle on your own, when you dont have to.
    ashtonjames

    Answer by ashtonjames at 12:26 AM on May. 13, 2009

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