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Would you blame yourself?

Would you blame yourself if you try to raise your child the best you can by teaching them right from wrong in all aspects of life and they still turn out to be a loser? You all know what defines a loser. Someone that is know where in life, does stupid things to get in trouble with the law or a down right bad person. I mean if we as mothers try our hardest from the moment they are old enough to understand till they become adults. I think it's their fault once they reach adulthood. As kids they need to be taught and if they do stupid things they should learn from their mistakes. I say this because my 11 year old son is a hard ass, doesn't listen and I try my hardest. I'm here and if I didn't care I would of tooken off.

 
sweetmom1007

Asked by sweetmom1007 at 9:12 PM on May. 12, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 15 (1,866 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • No. My 21yo son turned to drugs and living a rough life once he turned 18. We raised him the same way we raised our 22, 18 and 17yo sons and they have never been in any trouble and have never used drugs. My son made choices. At first we wondered where we went wrong and then we realized that at some point they make their own path and sometimes it's way off the one you had them on. All you can do is be there when they wander back and hope that they get back on track. Thankfully my son is 10 mos. drug free and is getting things back together.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Oh man, I would hope not. One of my ex friends is a total loser. 2 DUIs. He didn't move out till he was like 26. His mom is one of the sweetest ladies in the entire world! She tried to help him, possibly to the point of enabling, because his brother who is 10 years older was really depressed growing up so he got most of the attention. But she is sooo sweet and nice and would do anything for her children. It's just that when they grow up they are the master of their life. I'm going anon, because idk if maybe his mom comes on here.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • See, we good mothers try our hardest. But, I tell you if my son does anything to get in trouble with the law his ass will stew in jail for him to learn. If he's stupid enough to do anything as a teen he'll learn. I did little stupid things as a teen but learned from them. I grew up at the age of 18 when I started working full time and had to pay bills. It's scary being a mother. We love them as babies but once they become teens all hell brakes lose. Not true for all kids but a lot.
    sweetmom1007

    Answer by sweetmom1007 at 9:19 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • You can't really blame yourself though. My mom and dad were really good parents. They didn't let me run around all hours of the night as a teen and I hated them for it. I think becoming a parent makes you understand why your parents acted the way they did. They didn't hate me, they were trying to keep me out of trouble.
    prettyrayray

    Answer by prettyrayray at 9:32 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • First, I want to say congrats to your son, anon, for being able to get his life back on track, or to at least try.
    OP, we CAN NOT blame ourselves. At some point in life, we all begin to make decisions for ourselves. I don't blame my parents for the stupid shit I have been through. I did it. I made the choice that put me in thar situation. Not them. I am the one who choose my life, not them. They did their best. And so are you.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 9:49 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I feel the same way about my DD she is 7 years old but is doing thing that DSS is coming to my house and talking to me. But everything that I'm doing for my kids I did not have and would love to have it. My mom want my DD cause everything she did nt do or me and my sister she want to do with my DD. But I think she is lying and just want some money and my going to do the same bullshit she did to us
    Mz.PhatPhat

    Answer by Mz.PhatPhat at 9:50 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I fought the 'feeling guilty" stuff for a long time. I don't anymore. My sons were both taught the things they needed. Brought up with values, discipline, love...blah,blah,blah. One is exceptional after a rough time in his teens. The other was a poster boy for teens..turn 18 and has continued to crap his life away. We have adopted both his kids. I don't blame me or us anymore. All kids get to a point you cannot control the people thewy come in contact with. Thery choose to accept or reject what they've been taught.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:52 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • No, really don't think I would. As a parent we have to enstill our values, morals and ethics in our children. We teach them right from wrong, teach them responsibility, etc. but there comes a point where the children need to grow up, make a life of their own, make their own choices and deal with the outcomes, good or bad.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:09 PM on May. 12, 2009