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what would you have said?

I had a baby 4 weeks ago. The babys father just called me from work and asked if he could go out with his friends after work. That would mean I have been taking care of our fussy son since 6am, and he will not be home until 2am.Then I will have to get up again with the baby at 6am tomorrow. he and I had already decided he would not go out once a week like he used to until our son is sleeping thru the nite. I have offered many times for him to get out and do things on his own. he knew today was a particularly hard dayfor me...Anyways he said "fine" and I asked if he was going to be mad when he got home and he said probably so I said "f* go then" and hung up on him....Normally I am a calm rational mama, but this was just the last straw today. what would you have said and would you apologize?


Asked by Bearsjen at 10:36 PM on May. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,279 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I know everyone isn't the same as me and my family but we're partners in this parenting thing. When he comes home he gives me a break or atlest an adult to talk to, and sometimes to atleast just look at.
    I know people feel different than me, but once I said I do... I said goodbye to any partying days I ever thought about.
    I hope your guy comes home, not in a bad mood and will help you out, or atleast watch the baby while you catch some z's

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:46 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • If he doesnt normally go out much i would let him. you stated you had an agreement he owuld go out once a week i beleive, has he used that up? Is it a friends bday, special occassion? If it is just to go drink/party then I would have said no and explain why you would rather have him home

    Answer by tjandjenna at 10:38 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • No, I would not apologize and let him sit with your displeasure at his actions while he guiltily drinks his beer with buddies. It's selfish. Why can't he go out from like 5-8PM or something so he will be able to watch baby in the morning?

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:56 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • in my opinion no husband should go out and stay out until like 2 in the morning. they are not doing anything good if they stay out past like 11. and plus if your baby sleeps until 6 am hun thati is sleeping through the night. try a baby waking up at 1, 3, and 5 that is not sleeping through the night. good luck mama! hope he helps out more!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I wouldn't apologize to him. When is the last time you got to go out? I have 3 kids and I NEVER leave the house without one of them. Usually it's all 3 of them. So when my Dh goes out with his friends or stays late at work hanging out, I get pissed. And you have every right. When is your break?!! When do you get to sleep in?!! You're fine. If he's going to be that way, if you breastfeed, pump some for a bottle at six and let him get up and feed the baby. If going out is so important to him, then he won't need the sleep. After all, the he is the baby daddy.

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 12:11 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Mine was never nice enough to even ask, he'd just go...which is why he's an x. I think of all the moms out there who have no one to help, women whose husbands are deployed and taking care of little ones alone or those who have husbands who work offshore or truckdriving and these moms take care of several kids 24/7 by themselves and you complain about one day. Toughen up. Motherhood isn't for the weak and whining. Women throughout history have taken care of children alone. You can do it so suck it up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • I agree with the above poster.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Since you asked him the question , and he answered it his way, you were in essence setting him up for the answer, and not that you were wrong, because, ......he is supposed to respect you, but I am with the same type of person, and if I were to ask anything like what mood he'll be in at a later time, ....... and said "a bad mood,", it pretty much finishes the answer. He was rude, and that is why you knew it was the answer you'd probably get. I would just let him go out.... expect your night to be what YOU make it not his way. Do something nice for yourself ......and life is what you make it. Listen to something you love on music channels, or stereo, I-pod, make some health smoothie, talk to someone /phone positive. Hope this will be good next time it happens.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • First off why is a grown man asking permission to do anything? When did you become his mother?

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:40 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • to the rude responders, kiss my butt. As for "suck it up" sorry you seem to have men who had babies with you and then let you raise them.It apparently turned you into bitter heartless hags. Too bad for you but in my family as another more compassionate mom saidd its a partnership. sorry you had such a bad day that you had to attack a mom and not be able to even say your name, thats too bad for you and hope you feel good baout yourselves....
    to those who were supportive ty. :o) it is nice to come here and find people who understand how frustrating motherhood can be. My guy did come home, he apologized for being insensative and I finally got some sleep. :o) ty again!

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:20 AM on May. 13, 2009

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