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Do you tell a married man you are friends with that you could see more with him?

I am just curious about what you think. I am single, and we have been friends for years, since before he was married. He and I definitely could have been something, but we were never single at the same time. We have started spending a lot more time together, and there has been a lot of innocent flirting. The thing is, I am not sure I can handle this flirting with nothing coming. Do I try and bear it out or do I tell him that I like him more than he likes me and I can't take the flirting?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on May. 13, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I think I would tell him that he and his friendship means a lot to me, but that sometimes I feel uncomfortable because of some boundary issues. I would explain that it's not because you think he means anything by it, or anything like that (whether you want him to mean it or not), but because you are afraid that it could end up being misinterpreted by people and it could look like you both are disrespecting his wife. And, because he and she are so important to you, you would hate to send that impression to people.

    Also, yes, it's weird that she laughed, but then again, maybe it was killing her inside, but she laughed as a way to sort of save face, like, see, it doesn't bother me, there's no issue here, when it really did, kwim?

    But, since he's pushing this, you need to set the boundaries - he's married, and not to you, so there should be an "end" on where "friend" goes, kwim?
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:21 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • you shouldnt be flirting period, hes married hes the one who made the decision
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 1:50 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Umm hes married... Leave him alone or his crazy ass wife might kill u. Have u ever seen Obsessed? I wouldnt ever mess with a married man not just because of std's, unwanted preg., but what is his wife finds out and she goes all crazy on you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • He's married and it's not to you. Time to get over your past and move on. Find you own man.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • He is the one flirting. Like today, we were playing catch with a few of us, he threw over my head and went to go get the ball. He was gone a while, when he came back he had a flower in his hand. He brushed it along my neck and then gave it to me. I liked it, but I liked it too much, you know? I just want to get a handle on this before it gets out of control. Do I ignore it, and hope it goes away, or do I tell him it may mean more to me than him and it isn't fair. I would tell him it isn't fair to his wife, but she doesn't care. She was out there with us today and she laughed as I laughed because the flower tickled.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • SORRY, ANON:55 is the OP. I should have clarified before I posted that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Mayb they want u to join them in bed with them... kinda kinky.. I can see it u two are about do u know and here she comes in bed with u two!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • ask him to get a divorce.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • I half agree with Anon:56. That seems weird to me. I mean, maybe they are just very trusting of each other. But that still seems a little odd. I could see her not saying anything since you weren't in private, but to laugh and encourage is the weird part. I would definitely ask him what he thinks he is doing.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 1:59 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • I think you should get over your little crush and move on and if you can't stop with the flirting then stay away for a little while. Maybe you feel a crush on him cuz you know him real well and you might be lonely but to mess up a marriage is reckless. Maybe yes he is flirtig but it is wrong and you don't want to be considered a home wrecker and trust me one day you will get married and Karma is a real thing.
    214mommydearest

    Answer by 214mommydearest at 2:25 AM on May. 13, 2009

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