Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The confusion of love?

I know we are all supposed to be grown women on here but I want to know this and I want honest no b.s. answers. How do you know you love him and how do you know he loves you? I have known someone for 2 years now. He knows he has my heart and he implies things or I think he does about loving me. He is one of those tough men ya know that does not show emotion. How do I know how he feels with out coming out and asking him how he feels?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:40 AM on May. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • That's really hard to say, because for each person it's different. Honestly though, in this situation, after 2 yrs, I don't think there's anything wrong with saying to him "I love you, and I hope you know that. I know you care about me, because your actions say that. But I would like to know, how deep is that caring, do you feel the same about me that I feel about you?"

    Just remember though, for some men, "is your gas tank full" and "don't forget to lock your doors", and "I'll be over on Tuesday after work to change your oil" or "you're the only woman for me" all means "I love you". But there isn't anything wrong with talking to him and establishing if that's what he means with it. Then, once you establish it, you'll know when he says "don't forget to lock up", what his heart is saying is "I love you, I worry about you, please be careful".

    Just talk to him :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:43 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • He is always telling me how proud of me he is for school and being as strong as i am.. See the thing is a little over a year ago I was stupid and decided fuck him he doesnt want me and started seeing someone. When he found out he distanced himself from me and then I ended up pregnant... We were using protection but it happened wouldn't change it because I love my son with all my heart. I told him last night that it was not fair because he knows my weakness and at first he joked "yeah I know the uniform" but he then said he knows it is just him not the clothes which is completely trus I would not care if his time was up tomorrow... Anyway when I told him that it was unfair because I didnt know his he told me "you deserve the best things in life"... What does that mean? He has a gf (6months now) and I have been with my bf for 16 months.... I am so confused and really have no one to talk to about my feelings that I trust!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • I see what you're saying, and it does sound like you all have feelings for each other. BUT, here's the thing - as long as you are both involved with other people, this is not something either of you should pursue. Out of respect for the people you're dating, and for each other. Because think of it, would you want to start building something with them that started with lying or cheating or anything like that? That's a pretty bad start, kwim?

    So honestly, you need to decide, do you love you bf, or do you love this other guy? Because if you love your bf, then you need to stop going down this path with this other guy, even if only in your head. If you love your friend, then you need to end it with your bf, then talk to him and see. It's a risk, because you could end up without either of them if he doesn't feel the same. But, you need to decide is he worth the risk?



    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:34 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • cont

    You might end up staying with your bf. You might end up deciding he's worth the risk and going for it. You could end up with him, or you could end up alone. But honestly, IF you care about him enough to end your relationship with your bf to explore this, and it doesn't work out, then that would still be ok, because you don't want to "settle" for someone when you are in love with someone else, whether they feel the same way towards you or not. It's not fair to you or the person you settle for, it stops you both from finding the real right person, kwim?

    Also, something to keep in mind is this, are you SURE you both care about each other, or could maybe one or both of you have this whole idealized idea of "what could have been"?

    I'm sorry, but some things in life have no guarantees, and you have to take a risk to get it. This is one of them :-(

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:39 AM on May. 14, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.