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Did he cheat on me? What do you think?

Okay here is what has happened. I snooped into his email and found an email he sent to a girl named Carmen (who he works with) and the message had some very explicit detailed acts he wanted to perform on her orally to put it cleanly. I don't know if he has set up a trap for me to see if I snooped or if he is cheating. But the thing is he sent this to her. She actually got it. She never replied or if she did he deleted it. This was in his sent file. Did I get what I deserve for snooping? Should I bring it up to him? What the hell do I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:15 AM on May. 13, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Here's the skinny. Women have a knack for knowing when someone is full of crap. It's called our intuition. Trust your gut Momma. If you felt he was cheating then you already know. Otherwise, you wouldn't be asking other women what we thought. You're asking us because of what you already know in your gut.

    Another thing, if I found that on my husband's computer then I would be gone. To me if you think about having sex with someone else that is just as devastating to our marriage as the actual act itself. It shows you are emotionally putting yourself in a situation to be with another women other than me and I don't put up with that.

    Trust yourself.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 8:17 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Even if he didn't actually do the deed he's thinking about it and "voicing" it to her. That's dirty. He's most likely cheating or at least trying to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • You know he cheated or you wouldn't be asking............physical or emotional cheating is the same in my book. Your gut feels something isn't right or you wouldn't be snooping. Call him out on it. You might be trapping yourself by putting up with this deceit.


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 6:41 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • He is either cheating or intended to. Snooping is a funny thing. Most of us only do it when we know something is wrong and we NEED an answer, so don't feel too bad for that.

    Answer by DanaMT at 6:41 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • I also snooped, I also found an email. I was able to contact the other person and it was true. I called him out on it and he denied it. Little did he know that she had already confirmed it. I think your husband IS cheating. Get strong now! This could get ugly. Most men deny it all along and many women believe them. Prepare yourself now. I am so sorry for you. I know the pain that you or feeling. My prayers are with you!

    Answer by cchawk440 at 7:20 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • cheating 4 sure

    Answer by ilovemyboys21 at 7:20 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • If it was a trap to see if you were snooping he wouldn't have sent it to her (unless he used her name but his own email address).
    Most people don't talk to someone like that out of the blue so either he talks to her like that all the time, or she's talking with him like that and this is their way.
    Any of the above isn't okay to do.
    I'd likely go to her and ask her what she thought of the email she got from him (with a copy in my hand for if/when she plays dumb). Personally I wouldn't attack her verbally or otherwise, she didn't do anything wrong, he did. Even if a woman is prancing around butt naked in front of my hubby begging him to do her, he is the one who's married to me and should say "umm I don't think so". So ask him, ask her and go from there in how you want to handle what they've been doing because whether they're just alking about it or doing it, you'll never be sure now will you.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:24 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Trust me its cheating even if its not physical! I am going through the same thing right now. It really hurts and I think the thing that hurts the most is just the thought in his mind of being with another woman beside yourself makes your heart break. Keep your head up girl! You are the best thing he has and unfortunately you will have to weather the storm before he even realize it. GOD BLESS!

    Answer by angieplus3 at 8:53 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • If that was a "trap" then your husband is ridiculously mean. Personally, I think it shows at least the intent to cheat. I would have issues with an email that was less than that, so I'm proud of you for having this much control over your emotions. I believe that it definately needs to be discussed with your husband. Don't let him tell you it's just a "prank" or whatever because he obviously intended to do "something".

    Answer by prettylilrae at 11:52 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Thats as bad as cheating to me if i found that he would be gone

    Answer by miss_aquarius22 at 12:31 PM on May. 13, 2009