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3 year old chokes when he cries on purpose

My 3 year old cries when he doesnt get his way, cries so hard that i come in to check on him in his bed ( ie... if he doesnt want to go to bed yet we put him in bed talk to him hush him down but wont stop crying, when we leave the room he begins this) he begins saying that he is going to choke and starts spitting and gagging on purpose... do anyone elses kids do this and why? what is wrong?

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Asked by NicksAshALee at 7:42 AM on May. 13, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • It's to get your undivided attention mom. I have 2 special needs boys they have tried it all. Try spending some one on one time before bed and give positive redirection to try and prevent it. Little things like , talk early on in the evening about the fact that for every night you don't gag yourself when you go to bed and be a big boy if you can try real hard not to do it then mom will take you someplace special. My little one used to hold his breath till he passed out. So since our issue was he had bad dreams I used baby powder as magical dream dust and blew it into the air over his bed, it worked. Also pray over him for good nights rest. Best of luck.

    Answer by Onlygodknowswhy at 7:54 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • we stay in there with him and he says "im going to choke, listen" both me and his father are always in there the second he cries. were not bad parents the child gets everything that he needs and asks for and he makes me feel like im not doing a good job how hard of a life can a 3 year old have when he has it all... loving parents. adoring grandparents who he sees everymorning and night, ( they live next door) he adore his Papa.. I dont get, my bf and i lay in bed at night in tears bc we dont know what to do. i hope its just a phase bc i dont know what else to do. the child never plays alone.. meaning a praent or grandparent or someone is always showing attention and playing with him. he does this when we drop him off at school too... seperation anxiety from daddy? he wants us to stay with him at school! God bless you for being so great with your boys..

    Answer by NicksAshALee at 9:19 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Children at this age sometimes do things to see what kind of response they get from mom/dad. If you respond every time, he'll take note that the behavior is a keeper, but then if you stop responding to his regular behavior, he'll find something new and more dramatic to get your attention back. So perhaps, you need to say No to him more often, allow him to gag himself (just tell him you don't want to see/hear it and walk out of the room) and let him know that certain behaviors are unacceptable by not paying attention to them. But good luck, sounds like he'll keep upping the ante so long as you keep responding.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 9:48 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • yes we do say no to him and he screams back yes or the opposite of what we say to him.. sometimes we let him cry it out and sometimes we go in and console with him plead with him reason with him but nothing seems to be working. only the solutions the 3 year old comes up with will then he stop... he is very smart someone mentioned to me something about SID SPD sensory processing disorder.... were looking into it..

    Answer by NicksAshALee at 9:53 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Sounds like you're giving him all the control if only his solutions stop his behavior. He's 3 and 3 year olds are defiant. It doesn't mean you plead with them or beg them to change their behavior. It means you give them a choice, a consequence and follow-through. Sounds like you need to let him cry, scream and have an absolute fit while you stand by and do nothing or leave the room and have a nice cup of tea. I don't often say ignore the tantrum, but in this case, it seems pretty clear he's doing it because he CAN and you let him. Stop letting him control your parenting. Give him a choice, a consequence and then follow-through. Walk away and ignore the behavior. Be strong or you're going to have a huge, spoiled brat on your hands because he's learning now how to manipulate you - yes, he's smart, but don't let him be in control.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:08 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • My son has that gift. He can cry, choke himself and make himself puke on cue. He's old enough to not pull that crap with me when it's an attention getter. So if I see he is doing it on purpose he gets a spanking. We have been out to eat and he throws a fit that he doesn't want to eat but as soon as we get home he cries that he's hungry. So I tell him he needs to eat when the rest of us eat. Sure enough, we were out a nice restaurant and he pulled that crap. Threw up right into his plate. I was livid. He doesn't do it all the time but when he does he gets a spanking for it.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 3:53 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • ... you need to pick a tactic and stick with it for a while before you cave in and try another... it is not unusual for a behavior to take several months before it goes away.. begging and pleading with them just makes it worse. he needs to know where those limits are and what the consequences are then stick to it. Write out a game plan, clear concise and no wiggle room.

    Answer by Angelbluewingsz at 5:25 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • my son did the same thing whenever he didn't get things his way. Till one time we were fed up, we asked him to clean the vomit off the floor and handed the rug (watching from a distance as if we didn't care). Now every time he tries to do that, we remind him of cleaning after he's done. He just stops and tries to compromise.

    Answer by mom2219 at 2:05 AM on May. 18, 2009

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