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3 yr old trouble with school and the am getting ready

my 3 year old just started a new shool and i understand that there is an adjustment period but EVERYDAYYYYY he screams at the top of his lungs that he wants to go to his old school. His old school was closed and we sent him to a prep school. He screams in the morning saying he isnt going. he wants to stay home with me or his father( who both work) or that he wants us to stay with him at school. he screams he hates the kids at school and the teachers are mean. we talked with other kids and parents and the teachers are very kind and ive met them all and had no problems. they asked him to sit in his seat and he justifies that as yelling. is there anythng i can do I told him 5 stickers for good behavior means a toy from toys r us. so far this week he has none. My bf and I are stressed to the max and dont know what to do anymore. when he comes home from school he said he had a blast and loves it and has friends. i dont get it help

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Asked by NicksAshALee at 7:46 AM on May. 13, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • This sounds like a great time to start using a reward chart. Every day he going to school without screaming he gets a checkmark. Everyday he has a good report from school, he gets a checkmark. When he has a whole week with ten stickers, he gets a prize (we used to stock up on kids meal toys from fast food restaurants.
    I really think that this will pass; 3 is the worst age for kids.

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:04 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • I used to just load them up and take them, they fuss but they get used to it. I do not believe in giving rewards for doing what one is supposed to do. Rewards are for when kids go above and beyond. Just tell him his school is fun and tell him he has to go.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 8:44 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • believe me we pumped school up to be heaven we say he has to go because he needs to learn to be smart and get a good job and be a cop like daddy or a computer analyst like ashley. so he can work and get money and spend it on whatever he wants so he wont be stupid he needs to learn. we are the parents he is the child yadda yadda yadda we pack him his fave snacks, toys etc.... nothing works, we said we would take him to dinner. we asked him to stop fussing and crying but he said he will fuss and cry bc he wants to bc he doesnt like school... i said it wasnt an option that daddy and i went to school you have to God wants smart children not stupid boys and girls.. believe me we said and tried everything... and the stick/reward chart we tried doing that but every day he has been screaming his head off, we literally have to carry him out to the car kicking and screaming. i feel awful i dont know what else to do to make it better

    Answer by NicksAshALee at 9:14 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Well, I guess my question would be: Is there a significant difference between the old school and the new school? You say that he's going to a prep school - this sounds academic. If so, I would hate going if I was 3. At this age, children learn best by playing, not by academics. It's likely that the school is treating him like a much older child, enforcing the whole "you have to be smart to succeed" mentality rather than the "let's play and learn about life and see what drives YOU" kind of preschool learning that let's children learn about the world, themselves and society in an unpressured way. Sorry, but I'm your son here. It sounds like you've made preschool a chore, a duty, a responsibility. Any 3 year old would fight this mentality, and rightfully so. Preschool should be unpressured and fun where learning is natural and part of the day-to-day. If he hates learning now, he'll fight it his entire life. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • his old school was the same way there is no acedemic difference this is why we chose this school. we tell him it is a fun school which it is he had a blast at the orientation with us both and said he wanted to go, we sat in on a full day and he didnt want to leave its not "school" but the same as his old... they still learn they have homework ( coloring and such ) so nothing is new othere then the teachers and kids..

    Answer by NicksAshALee at 9:48 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Wow...homework at 3? LOL - I was shocked when my neighbor's kid brought homework home from kindergarten. What ever happened to children being children? Well, he's probably being 3 and wanting to fight for some control in his life. Also, if you were there at the orientation, he probably thought you'd be there at school too - orientation was probably pretty different than the reality of the day to day, especially with you there. Also, how long has he been away from his birth mom (read your bio)? If that was fairly recent, that may have something to do with this as well. Sounds like he's been through some stress for a 3 year old - between a divorce and a change in schools, kids like routine and knowing what to expect. Big changes like that can stress them out a lot. Good luck!

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:03 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • yeah he has coloring pages or color the triangles green and square purple, nothing too extreme... he is def fighting for control on his life.... orientation was a normal school day bc he started mid year. i actually sat in a normal school day.. he sees his mother on the weekends ( if she pulls thru) she basically gave him up to us because she didnt want him... he says he doesnt love his mother bc she doesnt love him that he hates her and doesnt want to live with her.. he lived with his mother and father until oct of 2008 his mother moved out and ahe went with him and saw his father on the weekends... now as of 4 weeks ago he has been living with us

    Answer by NicksAshALee at 10:19 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Okay - that clarifies that a lot of what is going on is stress-related. So much change in such a short span with probable emotional issues since 3-year olds have enough of a hard time with emotions on a regular basis. Stress can cause neural delays in memory and processing (caused by excessive or long-term exposure to cortisol). Check with the school for counseling possibilities - he's going to need help working through these changes in his life, especially the separation from his mom. Get him some help dealing with these issues now so he can learn how to deal with the stress as he gets older. Add this on top of typical 3-year old desire to get more control over his life (hence the gagging and choking himself - the ONLY thing he does have control over is his body). Good luck and I recommend you look into counseling to help him work through these changes.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:49 AM on May. 13, 2009

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