Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

do you have the same issue I do with ur man?

My fiancé wanted a baby so badly I gave him one.
But ever since I gave birth he hasn't wanted to feed her, change her diaper, clean a bottle, help her fall asleep, wake up for her when she's crying in the middle of the night. When I ask him to do something he acts like it's gonna kill him.

His excuse is "well I work" yeah well learn to make sacrifices. He doesn't work everyday. This morning she was crying and he waited for me to get up.

When we are in public he wants to show her off as if he does all the work. If be wants to continue being her daddy he better learn to take care of her. She's almost a month old!!!!

Answer Question
 
MissKellee

Asked by MissKellee at 7:46 AM on May. 13, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 2 (3 Credits)
Answers (53)
  • Oh honey I am so sorry that all the burden has fallen on you. What do you intend to do? I know, literally, how you feel and what you're going through. Except my ex-husband wanted to experience only the conception and chose not to be around when my son was born and hasn't been around since then. I know what it's like to do it ALL yourself.

    I would be the one holding her the next time we all went out. If it were me, you're not gonna claim you do everything because you can hold her for 10 minutes in front of your friends and make it seem like I'm not doing anything. Nope nope.

    I remarried and DH knows me. I don't play. We were both single parents when we met and both have special needs kids so we both fully understand how it is and we help each other. I would set him straight if I were you, even if it means moving out and being on your own. There is something to be said for having peace.
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 7:54 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • omg!! did you have a baby w/ my man?! ... lol ... seriously!! now he does a little more (shes 4 months) but soon as we walk in wal-mart or the mall or his families homes , 'ur back hurts ill take her' ... my back hurts ALL the time , not just when we go somewhere!!! when shes fussy and eating he gets all mad and i get her ... he definately wanted this baby , he was more excited than annnnyone! he couldnt wait! he said by the next 1 he'll know what to do w/o asking ... idk tho
    tha-hawt-mommie

    Answer by tha-hawt-mommie at 7:58 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Jesus I'm sorry u went through all that. I loveeeeee my baby girl sooo much that I don't mind getting up and doing all these things for her but I wish he would be a father for her
    MissKellee

    Answer by MissKellee at 7:59 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • same here , i dont mind never getting online , or letting the apartment go for a day or 2 ... but if theres 2 adults , 1 should do something!~
    tha-hawt-mommie

    Answer by tha-hawt-mommie at 8:01 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • my dh started that and i niped it in the bud fast. i know my dh works mon thrue fri and hes a hard worker but i was also taken care of a baby who didnt like to sleep at night on top of taken care of younger kids 2 of them are his with his x wife. so i had a total of 4. and i was TIRED. so him and i made a deal mon thru fri i would get up and do all but on sat night was my night to sleep so sat night he would get up at what ever times and do the daddy thing change and feed and rock. it worked for us. that way he could sleep when he had work and i get 1 night were i could get my rest and not worry. sit him down and talk to him and work somthing out good luck xo
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 8:22 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • same with my sons father...he wanted a baby so did i so when it comes to responsibilties i dont mind doing it all...but for god sake change a diaper once...i change about 10-15 diapers a day and god forbid i ask him cause "he buys the diapers" men think that if they work they dont have to share responsibility, but i work too...and im a full time mother. and i wish i had a suggestion as to how to deal with this, but as you can tell, were in the same boat LOL
    lululovexox

    Answer by lululovexox at 8:31 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • I am really sorry he's being an ass. I got really lucky my husband is a great daddy and has always helped with our daughter. I think you should sit him down and tell him Look you wanted this baby, and now she is here and you WILL help. Tell him work is not an excuse. Hell threaten him if you have to. Tell him everytime he refuses to help you, or leaves her crying until you get her that you are going to write it down. Then when your daughter is old enough you will show her how little he wanted to care for her. I know he loves her but he needs to help care for her too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Outline his responsibilities for him. There needs to be time that he spends caring for his child, they'll bond better. Just sit down with him and come up with some time every day where he is her sole caregiver, even if it's just an hour. Then, never EVER butt in or tell him he did anything "wrong" during his time.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:11 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Mine used to do this but then I told him in my book that makes him nothing more than a sperm donor and I would be damned if I would let him look like super dad in front of family and friends. He got the message and now is a big help.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 9:12 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Mine is similar!!! Im a SAHM and my hubby works BUT not everyday! He used to be good about all that kinnda stuff dealing with my daughter who is 4 1/2 months! But now its like the only time he tends to her is if I tell him to or If im like can you hold her for a sec while I do this or that! So yeah I told him how I felt and he says " I work"........ OOOK, like he has a fulltime job!He works maybe 3 days out of the week! Oh and the whole visiting family, going to the mall, ect. Its still all meeee! ; ) & dont get me wrong I love doing all this stuff for her but..damn help me out a little!So im in the same boat.
    v_serenil

    Answer by v_serenil at 9:25 AM on May. 13, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.