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Would you tell your brother if you think his wife is cheating?

So...my brother and his wife are having problems. She kicked him out for no reason! (Well, her reason is she is sick of him and doesn't want to be with him). Now, my brother is a hard working man, takes very good care of their kids, helps her out around the house, etc... Really, he is such a nice man and she is evil to him! In the past she's been physically abusive to him! And he's stayed because he loves her.
Now, I've been checking out her Myspace page and she updated her profile to single and posted some really provacative pics of her on there. And she's been chatting wth a guy about meeting up with him! My brother has no clue of this! ShouldI tell him? They are supposed to talk about things this weekend. He thinks she'll take him back. I wish he didn't go back to her.

 
mamaada

Asked by mamaada at 9:41 AM on May. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,083 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Yes I would tell my brother if I thought something suspicious was going on with his "wife" but I wouldn't say "she's cheating on you" because you don't know that for sure. Just tell him politely to look at her myspace page because you are concerned about some things you saw on there and you just don't want him to get hurt. Leave it at that and let him draw his own conclusions and make his own decisions based on what he sees with his own eyes. Like other posters have said, there are always 2 sides to every story and so I wouldn't jump in with all these allegations that might not even be true. Ultimately he's going to make his own decision if he wants to stay with her or not (I hope not because she sounds like a scumbag) but at least you know you tried your best to protect him without getting too involved. That's all you can do. The rest is up to him.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:19 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • no, because my brother is a jerk and I would have left him a looooong time ago.. but then again his wife is far from perfect too. Love them both but they need help. Now if it was one of my other three brothers, yes, yes I would.
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 9:43 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • my brother is completely head over heals for his wife and always hhas been, but she cheated on him with his best friend and he knows about it!!! he only knows of one time, but i have a feeling there has been several more, and as of the past months i dont think she has been screwing around because they just had a baby, but i dont mention anything to my brother because i think the cheating has stopped and i know he would be completely shattered, he is so in love with her and they have a beautful baby girl, but i think you should tell your brother since there seperated at the moment, just to prevent any further harm. sounds like a not-so-good relationship and he might love her but if she is going to hurt him like that then he can find another girl to love!
    svanderlip4208

    Answer by svanderlip4208 at 9:52 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • he should check her myspace page and see for himself. if they decide to work things out he might want to see she has intentions with someone else. cant work things out when only one is willing. maybe you could say to your brother ohhh i thought u and her were working things out.. if he asks why just fill him in. but also caugtion he really loves her he will put her first and if she dosent like you he will or might take her side. but if he sees forhimself...or email her a i thought you wanted to work it out? dont yell at him that might push him away eaither way he might see the light down the road. good luck..
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 9:54 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • You are seeing him thru a sisters eyes. I'm not putting him down, or saying she's right but it's hard to see things when you're not on the inside of the marriage.
    No, I wouldn't tell him what's on the page. If he's interested he will go look, and if she was worried about him seeing it, or anyone she'd not have put it on there.
    You have neices/nephews likely involved and from personal experience, don't bash her, don't put her down etc because she's the mother of those children and if you want to be an active part of their lives, then you need to hold the peace with her as much as possible. If they get back together and you've told him all of this, then guess who's not going to be invited over? You have to let your family grow up and learn for themselves. You might could ask her, but personally I wouldn't until after they talk atleast. Try to stay out of the middle.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:57 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Hello, as you know your brother and you care about him, the solution would be to help him. Are you sure that he doesn't know that his wife has a Myspace account? IMHO what she is doing is a sign that things definately are not going well. Now I don't know her and there always are 2 sides to every story. If you told him what she was upto it will break his heart but he is entitled to know.
    DaffodilFae

    Answer by DaffodilFae at 10:03 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • as a person that has been cheated on no. Why? Well unless you know for sure that she is saying anything will just cause more problems. However if you have solid proof and are asked well thats another question altogether.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 10:08 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • I think you have to be very careful in how you handle this -- you don't want to alienate him or end up being blamed for things if they get back together. Does he even know she has a myspace page? It might be best to wait until after their talk, and then ask him what was said, and then maybe let him know you saw her myspace page and were concerned that she was not making an effort to work things out. I hope all works out for your brother!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:20 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Personally there are always two sides to a story. We do not know what goes on behind closed doors. I would just talk with your brother. If he does not want to discuss it let it go. Sometimes when somene gets kicked out of the house their so thinks it is ok to find another friend . It is just a diversion to the real problems. It does not give her the right, but some people think they can talk to others if they kick the guy out. Personally, suggest counseling to them. DOn't talk about my space. That stuff is childish anyway. Who knows what happened. But I do not think she would just kick him out cuz she is tired of him. There is more that story. Peace to you sweetie.
    bella69147

    Answer by bella69147 at 10:25 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Yes I would tell my brother if I felt his wife was cheating...
    IN
    a
    Heartbeat...
    He is my brother...it is that simple..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 10:29 AM on May. 13, 2009

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