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Is my friend being unreasonable....

My bf is living in Cali and is planning an Ohio wedding. I am MOH. She is here this week and she wants to go to Columbus for one day(about 1.25 hrs away). I told her over the weekend I am not comforable driving bc my check engine light is on. She asked if I could drive my husband's car and I said no bc it's on it's last leg and we've been carpooling nearly everywhere. She asked why can't you just get it fixed... and we are closing on our house and have to pay 2-3K in closing costs. Now her sister won't drive either bc her brake light is on. So we're kind of in a rut. We also found out my due date is changed to Jan 3rd, the day I was planning her bridal shower. So now she wants me to hand everything over to her sister and is mad that she'll have to help prepare for her own shower bc she thinks I could ruin it with a baby. I woke up to a text saying we have to sit down & talk my feeling are really hurt. Is she being unreasonable

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Asked by LuccasMommy at 10:29 AM on May. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (39 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I think so. There is no reason for her to get upset with you about not driving because of car trouble and having to help with a shower i wouldnt mind i didnt even get one. I wish i had something to say that would help but im stuck. Hope everything works out.

    Answer by Shelii at 10:39 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Yes, she is being unreasonable.

    Should people try to go out of their way for a special bride? Sure. At the expense of their personal property (i.e. the cars) and safety? No. Being MOH means that you are there to help and support her while she plans her wedding. It does not mean you are her personal chauffer, maid and slave for whatever else (especially non-wedding stuff) that she wants to do.

    She is bringing awful karma on herself worrying about a baby ruining her shower. Seriously, it isn't a huge deal. If the plans are done ahead of time and set into place and you have a helper that can stand in your place if you can't attend, what is the huge deal? Showers are NOT required and are given at the grace of the hostess throwing the shower. She needs to but out and be thankful she has people that care enough to throw her a party. It is very poor etiquette for her to be that involved in her shower anyway.

    Answer by NovemberLove at 10:40 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • I'd be thanking her and letting her find another MOH. You don't need all the stress plus you will be exhausted after having the baby. Think of yourself first. No reason for feelings to get hurt.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:41 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Well, she never thew me a shower, but I didn't want her to feel how I did and still do. I can't help but ask myself how I would feel if I came from cali to here then had no one to drive me around. I just don't know what the solution would be. We have been friends for 10+ yrs so I don't want to say, sorry I don't want to be in your wedding bc in all honesty I do, she is just going off the deep end and doesn't realize it. She even asked her grandmother for her inheritance to pay for the wedding... and there is no inheritance...

    Answer by LuccasMommy at 10:46 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • My question is why, with all this going on in your life, would you agree to be maid of honor? You took on too much, and that being the case no she isn't being unreasonable. It's her wedding.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 11:26 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • I didn't know I was going to be prego and I wasn't when I committed three months ago. And I also didn't anticipate car trouble and refinancing my house at the same time. Her wedding isn't until June of next year, so I didn't think these things would be issues.

    Answer by LuccasMommy at 12:06 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Why not tell her to rent a car?

    Answer by momandvet at 5:37 PM on May. 13, 2009

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