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(minimum 6 characters) it really that big of a deal?

My partner and I are 12 yrs apart. My step mother, whom I am more close to than my birth mother thinks that this is the most ridiculous thing she has encountered with me. When I first met my partner, I met him for who he is and I love him to death, we live together and we're getting ready for a baby in less than 2wks. I myself think the age thing is extremely petty and they're far more worse things in the world to worry about than our age difference. What would you say to someone who doesn't agree with this scenario if you were in my position?

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Asked by trijobaby at 11:56 AM on May. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Level 7 (201 Credits)
Answers (28)
  • It depends. If you are 17, dating a 29 year old I'd say it's not right because there is a big maturity difference. You don't really "know" what you want in life until about 25, and sometimes later than that. If you are 30 and he is 42, then it wouldn't matter much.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I think it can be a good thing. My sister is 23 and just met a 34 year old that she's fell for big time. They are both on cloud 9...I think that this will be good for her. But my friend back in high school had met a man 31 years old that she married, and he was very controlling. So that didn't work. But I don't disagree with it. It's just age. Bad relationships can happen no matter what the age. If you love each other for all the right reasons that's what matters.


    Answer by bizima4 at 12:00 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I completely agree with anonymous 12:00

    Answer by 214mommydearest at 12:04 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • well how old are yall. im 19 and my bf is 24 i know its not that bad and if you love them then id dont matter waht the age is

    Answer by angel_megan at 12:05 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I wouldn't even respond to someone who was telling me how ridiculous my relationship was. My mother and step-father were 11 years apart. My brother and sister-in-law are 11 years apart. Me and my ex were 11 years apart. Never mattered to anything.

    Answer by EireLass at 12:05 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Men mature a lot slower than women in theory, so I would say you dating an older man is pretty natural. It's not too much of a difference that it's creepy, I mean it isn't like an "he's old enough to be your father" SITUATION OR ANYTHING>>>>>SORRY CAPS ON MY COMPUTER IS STUPID AND STICKS A LOT>

    Answer by ajguinn at 12:05 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I am 27 I was married at 16. That will be 11 years ago this 23rd of May. But my dh oid only 1 1/2 older than me. But everyone is different, on maturity levels.


    Answer by bizima4 at 12:08 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • For the most part age makes NO difference in how you feel about them. My hubby is 16 years older than me (I married him when I was just under 21), and just like every other couple, we have ups and downs, we like different types of movies, music, websites etc... but we like one another so that's all that matters if you're happy.
    As the wife of an older man, I am now thinking long term and how it could affect me. Just this week my hubby is going to have to start diabetic shots and I'm wondering now, what will happen when he isn't able to give them himself? I'm terrified of needles. What will happen if he.... but those things could very well happen to me just as easy as it could him and I have no doubt he'd stand beside me and take care of me and I will do the same for him, that's part of marriage (I know you're not married but maybe someday). You love while you're able, and hopefully they'll love you back. Age is a number

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:10 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • In most cases with age comes maturity. It really, I believe, all hangs on the maturity levels of the persons in the relationship. I think that people are too easy to dismiss someone because of age when this person could be the absolute perfect match for you. If you are both happy, with similar things in common, both know where your future is going I don't think age should be an issue.
    Just focus on this new beautiful baby you're about to welcome. Congrats.

    Answer by prettylilrae at 12:11 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I think it all depends on how you look at it. Your stepmother is looking at it from a mother's perspective. Her little girl is dating someone who is probably closer to her own age than her daughter's. She's just looking at it from a protector's standpoint. If it were her friend whom she looks at as an equal as far as age and maturity go, she probably wouldn't think twice about it. It's not so much a double standard as it is just trying to look out for her kids.

    In the end it probably isn't such a big deal. Both my parents and my grandparents were 12 years apart. My parents marriage lasted 18 years, my grandparents were married for well over 50 before my grandpa passed away. Age doesn't determine compatability. Personality determines compatability.

    Answer by sillyt at 12:16 PM on May. 13, 2009

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