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Need help with smokers not washing hands before holding my daughter.

Ok, mums! I need your help. My SOs family is full of smokers- they are not allowed to smoke around DD whatsoever. But when she comes home from their houses, she smells like butts. As a former smoker (quit as of 9/12/07 woo!), I know that hands stink after smoking- so I have politely asked them to wash their hands before holding her, but they refuse saying I'm being ridiculous, overprotective, and that I 'just don't like them.' No, I don't like them, but even the smokers in MY OWN family wash their hands first. They are VERY uneducated and me talking to them is like talking to a pile of mush. SO is also a smoker and won't stand up for me as it makes him feel "out of place" and I've HAD it. I need help convincing them that it is not okay. PLEASE help me!


Asked by LishaBee at 12:15 PM on May. 13, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 14 (1,450 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Just refuse to let them hold her unless they wash their hands. The only person who doesn't have to wash their hands before touching my son is me and that's because I hold him all day.

    Answer by AlyKen at 12:29 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • refuse to let them hold her until they wash their hands. if they want to hold her that bad theyll get the picture and wash their hands.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • i agree i wouldnt let them hold the baby i dont understand why inlaws do things to spite us when its bad for the baby

    Answer by kimmie123 at 12:28 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • There's been plenty of recent research done on the harmful side effects of 3rd hand smoke i.e: the residue left on one's self after smoking. I wouldn't let her stay with them or let them hold her unless they comply. my SO still smokes, but he wears a hoodie when he does, then takes it off and washes his hands and face before touching our son.

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 12:32 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • sweety you are her mother which means what you say goes when it comes to you child your boss if you fell like she is in danger then try to keep her away from it but i would not let them touch her at all unless they wash their hands i would tell them if they refuse to wash their hands then they just cant see her until they go by your rules

    Answer by nikkicorbett at 1:01 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • well: i say if they dont respect your wishes then dont let them hold your child!! im a smoker and i did the same with my baby boy, i asked then to wash or to sanitize b4 holing him. im am not preg. again and plan to do the same again, so if its simple, take a stand as a proud mom, DONT LET THEN TOUCH if they wont wash!!! good luck.

    Answer by mommy.sherry at 1:52 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I agree I would not let them hold your baby and tell them that if they do not learn to respect your wishes you will not bring your baby around them. Also not let them at your house. They will learn because they will see they can't see your baby. My husbands parents were kind of like that but in stead of smoke it was whatever I said they did the opposite. Like one time my daughter wanted cake but it was dinner time and I told her no not until she eats dinner and they gave it to her anyways. They have not seen my kids in about 2 years, they do get to talk to them on the phone and computer. They seem to of changed but we will see, we are going next week to visit them. As for hubby, you guys need to talk about him respecting your wishes and standing up for you. You are his wife, he needs to step up for you.

    Answer by hosein at 2:21 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • You are NOT crazy with the washing hands. Particles from the cigarettes stays in clothes, hair and definitely hands after smoking cigarettes, so washing their hands before holding your baby is not a "overprotective" request.

    Answer by LilyandEmmasMom at 9:25 PM on May. 13, 2009


    They are car-seat and stroller tags that you hang up that say "Are your hands clean" on one side and "LOVE, not germs" on the other side! They are wonderful and help out !!!

    What do you think????

    Answer by touchytags at 9:09 PM on Jun. 16, 2010