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Need help with smokers touching my daughter with stinky hands!

Ok, mums! I need your help. My SOs family is full of smokers- they are not allowed to smoke around DD whatsoever. But when she comes home from their houses, she smells like butts. As a former smoker (quit as of 9/12/07 woo!), I know that hands stink after smoking- so I have politely asked them to wash their hands before holding her, but they refuse saying I'm being ridiculous, overprotective, and that I 'just don't like them.' No, I don't like them, but even the smokers in MY OWN family wash their hands first. They are VERY uneducated and me talking to them is like talking to a pile of mush. SO is also a smoker and won't stand up for me as it makes him feel "out of place" and I've HAD it. I need help convincing them that it is not okay. PLEASE help me!


Asked by LishaBee at 12:15 PM on May. 13, 2009 in Kids' Health

Level 14 (1,450 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Until they can follow your wishes, do not let her over their houses. If they are at your house, tell them to wash their hands and use hand sanitizer or they do NOT get to hold the baby. She is your daughter and you get to set the rules. If they don't like it, too bad.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:26 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • If they refuse to wash their hands (since it seems like you've already asked them too) Remove your daughter form the situation until they can respect your wishes. I smoke and I wash my hands before touching people. It's really not that hard. and I don't think you're asking them to go out of their way nor are you being ridiculous. Maybe remind them that frequent hand washing is good hygene..... Best of luck

    Answer by vicki136 at 12:20 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • That's a hard one. I too am an ex-smoker and now can not stand it. My Mother still smokes and she STILL can't understand why I won't let her keep my boys at her house. All you can do is try to keep your DD away from them if you don't like it. I'm sure you can't avoid them, so when they are around just deal with it and give you little one a bath when you get home! You can't change others behavior, only your own! Good Luck.

    Answer by Tarabella at 12:22 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I tried that, but SO brought her down to his parents house when I was in class and said that 'his family was allowed to see her, too' (which i never said they weren't, I just made a small request).. its hard when he doesnt back me on this.. i just want some good sites or something.. maybe i'll call her pedi.

    Answer by LishaBee at 12:23 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • If you are there when they are touching your baby try carrying around a bottle of hand sanitizer and when they reach for the baby throw them the sanitizer instead. Yeah, you probably won't get very pleasant responses but just tell them these are your rules and if they want to hold your baby they have to follow them. Have you mentioned to them that you have the same set of rules for your own family? Unfortunately, mush can't be taught so you just have to ruffle a few feathers and demand they follow your rules and make sure you are present to enforce it.

    Answer by sillyt at 12:24 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Ok here's one site....I'll look for more. Good luck :)

    Answer by vicki136 at 12:27 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • here's a couple more :)

    Answer by vicki136 at 12:29 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Carry antibactireal with you at all times. Say you dont want her to get sick and have them put that on.

    Thats what i did!!

    Answer by mommyofAurora at 12:30 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • yes do call the peditrician and he will tell you the same thing that mine did that even if you do not somke around the baby that the smoke can still be carried in on your clothes hair and skin and cause the baby to have issues with asthma it is the whole second hand thing and it is a problem i would take you hubby with you when you go the the doctor and let the doc tell him what is up with it it isnt just in your head good luck

    Answer by tired703 at 5:19 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • The chemicals that make up the tobacco that they are smoking is rubbing off on the baby from their hands. That isn't fair to the baby to have that rubbed off on her. They need to wash their hands, in respect for the baby and her protection from those chemicals, and in respect for your wishes, as well as respect for you.

    Answer by homealone_10 at 8:28 PM on May. 13, 2009