Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Husbands weight gain has caused me to not be attracted to him physically...should I tell him? I think he knows but he WONT do anything about it.

I have even been fantasizing about other men and its driving me crazy because I feel I am mentally cheating on him and I feel horrible. Its getting me all depressed

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on May. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (33)
  • Wow...if your kid gains some weight will you shun them too?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • How would you feel if you gained weight and he was no longer attracted to you?!?! By now you should be looking past his appearance and loving him for his personality. First attraction is what causes us to approach someone to get to know them, once we get to know them and we like their personality we date them then marry them!! So you should no longer LOVE him for his appearance, that's horrible, if that's the case then you shouldn't be with him. I gained some weight after having two babies and my husband still perks up when I'm naked. So if thats how you feel then you should tell him and end it. But I want to say your heartless for what you said, but I guess we all have our needs, so whatever. Good luck to you though.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • How would you feel if you gained weight and he did not find you attractive? I mean you married him for better or for worse. You should be worried about his health and not his appearance. If he is at an unhealthy weight than you can help him out by exercising with him. Or cooking low fat food at home. Know what i mean? appearances isn't everything.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • from experience husband told me he wasn't attracted to me anymore and he feels really guilty about telling me. It made me feel like I was a terrible wife for letting myself go. I weighed 230lbs. and I tried losing weight and i lost 28 lbs. He wished he had never told me because he said he still loved me and it was his problem for not being attracted to me because of my weight. He later told me he doesn't care how much I weigh for my appearance. He said I was still beautiful but now he says he wants us both to eat healthier and exercise more often. If he had said that at first I would not have felt so horrible. Him either. good luck

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 12:52 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • are you over weight too im asking because if you are then you both can go on a diet my husband i are on one and trust me it works helping eachother out talk to him

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Your right, sex isn't important in a marriage so who cares if there is any chemistry. That is just stupid. Sex is important in a marriage and I am sorry that you don't feel the physical attraction anymore. Maybe you can try to diet w him and work out w him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • This is when "for better or worse" kicks in.
    Start walking-"honey please come walk with me I need to show you something." Go swimming- this works really well because fat floats-no stress on the joints.
    Hope this helps.

    Answer by SweetGems at 12:56 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • OP here: no, I am skinny. If I were to loose more than 10lbs I would look anorexic. He doesn't care enough to loose weight and it sucks

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Awwe Sweetie ignore that comment from a gal-coward! You just need to get him on a healthy lifestyle try readng the Hibernation Diet book from and cut back on the suger with honey (manuka) He may just have a v-e-r-y slow metabolisam it is not cause he is lazy prob. although i know i can be! lol just try and give him positive reinforcement and visit a freash produce store weekly not a big grocery store but a real nice one and make it fun to be healthy and cook fish a lot and beans (lentils) Get him on Centrum vitamins too! God Bless!

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 12:56 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Tell him only if you plan on divorcing him because of it. Telling him will only make matters worse.


    Answer by louise2 at 12:57 PM on May. 13, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.