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help

ok my son is 19 months old and he has these tantrums where if he dont get what he wants he bangs his head agianst things but latly he has started taking a runing start and everytime we try to stop him it gets worst the only person he will listen to is his dad and he works all night from 130 pm til 3am

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nikkicorbett

Asked by nikkicorbett at 1:43 PM on May. 13, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • Have you tried spanking him as soon as he protests the "no?" You have to swat him hard enough so that he feels the sting. He is hurting himself possibly because the anger is building up in him. I think you can short circuit that by telling him one time. Do not argue. If he protests in any way, smack his leg immediately. It's all about establishing that you are in authority and that he is not. We usually start with our little ones when they are about 8 months old, but it's not too late for your child.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:49 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • ..... mommy needs to be mean.... and stern...
    i been doing timeout with my son, he has very bad tantrums too...
    sit him down and make him look in your eyes.... tell him to look at you, he understands... point to your eye so you show him where to look... tell him its not okay and to settle down.... put him in timeout chair, or something.... just dont give in....
    ive also been told that ignoring the tantrums and not giving him any attention when he does them helps... the more you react- the worse they will get.... try ignoring them.... let him cry... they have tantrums to get attention...dont give him the attention unless hes behaving...
    i cant give speicific advise cause i dont know your parenting style...but you arent alone... toddlers can be evil sometimes lol it will work itself out though. do what you feel is right...
    good luck!
    trystons_mommy

    Answer by trystons_mommy at 1:50 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • My son does the head banging thing too. Bounces himself off furniture. Ignore him. As trystons mommy points out, it's an attention getting mechanism. No attention (either good or bad) makes it useless. Just watch out that he can't seriously injure himself. A bump here or there will stop the tantrum and cause him to rethink his strategy! If he does hurt himself, I usually comfort him briefly then distract him to move him on to something else and away from whatever triggered the tantrum. Distraction will also work if you can catch the tantrum just as it's starting or before it gets going.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • If you want another alternative to spanking...the head banging is normal. You don't want him to hurt himself, so put him in the playpen (no toys) until he calms down. Tell him that you are sorry that he's mad about (whatever) but that we don't want him to hurt himself, and when you are through screaming, you can come out. It's a PHASE that won't last long. Ours did it for a couple of months. It's an attention getter and he sees that he has your attention. Ours did the running head start, too. Hang in there, Mama. He doesn't have the words to tell you what he's feeling, so you are going to have to "give him his words". You are mad, sad, happy, fun, etc. Ours is 25 months and occasionally butts his head on the glass door when he wants outside (and we've said "not now", So I move him, shut the door. and tell him he can continue...but he doesn't. This will pass, when he sees that he's not getting the results he wants. Good Luck!
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 2:14 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • All moms above are right if you want your baby to stop doing something one must intervene. If he is banging his head say no and if he keeps doing you have to use manual prompting. Make sure that you keep doing it until he gives up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I agree also that if you can, to ignore it, and especially to turn or walk away. If he has to follow you, he'll settle down. But do empathize with him. There is NOTHING wrong with getting angry, frustrated or sad. How would you feel if you were in a foreign land unable to communicate with people, no words? We just have to teach them how to handle their emotions. Pictures with happy, sad, mad faces are good tools to teach him. We have a chart that shows several faces, and try to convey each emotion to him. He's entitled to his feelings, teach him how to express them.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 2:20 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • If banging his head gets him what he wants from anyone he comes in contact with, then he has found it works for him. When he bangs his head on the floor, try to get him to a place where he will not hurt himself or put something under his head. While you are moving him or putting something under his head, do not comment about what he is doing or what you are doing. I he is banging it on other things, try to remove him to a safe area without commenting about his behavior. The main thing is to not say alot about it. At his age you should be about to distract him or redirect him to something else fairly easy. You could say, let's go play with your trucks and lead him in that direction. Good Luck!
    LovetoTeach247

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 3:41 PM on May. 13, 2009

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