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Should I be doing something about this?

My two year seems to largely prefer my mom over his other grandparents. Now it is pretty obvious that he is going to prefer her over dh's biological mom because he sees he maybe once a year. I think he has been around her 3 times since he has been born (4 tops). But the issue that keeps upsetting my husband (with me for some reason) is that when we are with both my mom and his mom and dad our son will want to sit with my mom and play with her. He has even gone as far as crying when his other grandparents try to take him away from her. I told my dh that I would assume this is normal because my mom makes it a point to see our son at least once a week for some kind of visit. She also usually asks to take him overnight once a month on average (sometimes more sometimes less) now he only sees dh's parents a couple times a month in a "high number of visits" month. (cont in first reply.)


Asked by kfroz0415 at 2:51 PM on May. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,977 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • This is normal. They are going to have to realize that the child is not around them enough to want to interact with them as much as with your mom. The child is not saying he doesn't love them or like them he is just more use to your mother than your husband's parents. You may need to sit down with your husband and explain to him everything & tell him that you know your son loves his parents but they just aren't around enough for him to choose them over your mom. Also your son is still too young to know that it hurts the other grandparent when he does that. It is something that comes with age.

    Answer by momwifelove at 2:55 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • He just needs to get used to them. your DH's mom wasnt around a lot when he was younger so he doesnt know her. It will take time be he will get used to her she just has to keep around him and not go away for long periouds at a time.

    Answer by Amanda7891 at 2:55 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I should add that they don't live very far away about 15 minutes from our home and we are willing to visit them or have them visit us whenever they want. They are also in town everyday for work and I have said they can call and stop by when they get off if they want and I will make sure ds is up and ready to visit. Now dh gets mad at me and my mom because our son runs to my mom first or tends to spend more time with her when we are all together. I don't know what to do other than not ever have us all do anything as a group (which really I don't like as an option)... I have also started to make sure I as his parents first when we need a sitter just to give the extra opportunity for them to spend time together... But he still gets mad and has it in his head that my mom and I must be doing something I think. I kind of put it off to normal toddler behavior. What do you think?

    Answer by kfroz0415 at 2:56 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • OH btw I should add dh's mom and bio mom are two different people. His bio mom lives 8 hrs away his mom (tech step mom) lives in town with his dad.

    Answer by kfroz0415 at 2:57 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • If its your mom that he is around the most then he is going to want to be around them more than your DH parents. As for him crying when they try to take him thats normal 2 he dosnt feel as comfortable with them. They should try to see him more often. But that still might not do anything. Just like kids have a fav parent its the same for grandparents. I like my moms parents better than my dads and my gma on my dads side lived with us for quite some time. I would still try to get them to spend more time with him so that it wont be upseting when everyone all gets togeather. Good luck. I hope things get better.

    Answer by Shelii at 3:06 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • yeah I feel bad when my grandson prefers to sit i my lap and won't even talk to his other grandmother but then I play with him and we enjoy each other. She shows up once a yr and expects him to remember her and greet her with open arms. Time and more exposure to the other grandparents will work things out.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:09 PM on May. 13, 2009