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Do I have to tell my SO that I don't care for his little sister?

I love him very much and plan of spending the rest of my life with him but I don't really like his little sister! She is 11 years old and irritates me so much. She is rude, you talk to her and she ignores you. Her mom and I will be talking and she will constantly interrupt us and her mom is no help. She never corrects her. Her mom is in the Army reserves and one time she was introducing us to her Commander and he was asking my nieces their names and they told him and when he asked her she said, "I'm not telling." and her mom just laughed! I thought that was so rude. She has done countless other things over the years that irk me. When I was pregnant with our second son, she said to her mom "They need to stop having kids." I wanted to say something but I'm constantly biting my tongue. I feel bad for feeling like this about a little girl but I can't help it. Does he need to know before we get married considering we'll be family?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on May. 13, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • You know, I have a 16yo brother, an 11 AND 7 yo sister...

    DH has a 20yo brother that irks me beyond belief! DH KNOWS I don't like his brother's actions or attitude, or his stepdad's necessarily for that matter. He sure lets me know when my sisters are getting on his nerves, and I the same... It's just something we feel like talking about. You shouldn't be nervous about bringing it up, he may feel the same way. Try just bringing it up casually in conversation as opposed to striking out against her. Wait for him to see her do something you obviously will be upset about... back talking, interrupting, the "stop having kids" comment... when y'all leave, and she's not around anymore, say something to him like, "Man, I would have NEVER gotten away with that!" When he asks what you mean, tell him, "It's offensive, and I really didn't appreciate it." Make sure you say it in an understanding way, because she is 11, and just because
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 4:01 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • She's 11? Why are you worrying about this? 11-year-olds (and 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 year olds) are often obnoxious, but they usually grow out of that around the end of high school. If you're spending the rest of your life with him, how she was as a pre-teen/teen doesn't matter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • She's 11, she's going to change a lot in the next few years.
    What I'd do in some of those situations is say "that was rude, please don't interupt".
    As far as the stop having kids... she likely heard it somewhere.
    Chances are, she gets on his nerves too.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:35 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I do not know how you held it in for as long as you did.

    My SO would have already known that she bothers me..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 3:35 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I dont think he needs to know. There is always someone in the family that just drives you nuts. For you its his little sister. Thats normal. Pluss she is only 11 Shell start to grow up. My SO hates and i mean hates my older sister. hes also not to fond of my mom but whenever they are around he is still respectful.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 3:36 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • just tell him. i don't like my dh's little brother. he's 7, when we met he was 4. at first i liked him, i mean, he was a typical 4 year old that always interupted people and always got into trouble. as the year went on though, i started disliking his actions, and his mom wasn't any help either. i really really don't like him. i just flat out told my dh. i told him i didn't like him because he was rude, and especially now that he's older he should know better. NOW his mom is trying to correct him. IMO she should have started earlier, but whatever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Is she autistic or have something else that may prohibit her from controlling her behavior?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:39 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I don't think you should. Just grin and bear it like all in-laws do! And then complain to who will listen! :o) With her being 11, I'm afraid it's only going to get worse before it gets better! Teen years are rough! But I agree, her mother should work on her manners! There is no excuse for rudeness!!

    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 3:42 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Are you an adult and is she a child? Why do you need to tell him you don't like his KID sister?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • When we met she was 6 so I figured the same thing, she is young and will grow out of it. But it's gotten worse! And like I said her mom isn't doing anything to correct her so it's not like she's trying to show her how she needs to act. Her mom even admitted she spoils her and treats her like a baby. She started her period and her mom has to call the school to make sure she is changing her pad and when she is home she even changes them for her! And my niece is her age and doesn't act like her. She brought a friend to her brother's birthday and i was handing them their plates and her friend took hers and politely said "Thank you." Little sis grabbed the plate out of my hand and walked away so it's not like she doesn't have examples around her on manners. IDK, I just hope she does grow out of it but I'm not seeing the light! She's also mean to my kids, that part I'm NOT afraid to correct her on!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on May. 13, 2009

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