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How can I help my 13 & 14 yr. old girls with peer pressure/ boys?

My girls are at the age where they are venturing out into the world. And I want to make sure that I can do everything in my power to prepare them. They are liking boys now, and I need some pointers on how to school them on what to watch out for. Peer pressure is real and they face everyday with their friends and teens that are not their friends. What ideas could you give me to school them to be save and be careful when choosing friends?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on May. 13, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • I should preface by saying I don't have teens. But, here are my quick thoughts:
    Let them know they can always talk to you regarding anything; sex, pregnancy, drugs, friends, etc.
    Address the talk about alcohol and drunk driving with other teens and that you'll pick them up no matter what or give them a taxi card.
    On friendships; real friends will respect when they are tentative and want to say no on things and won't push.
    Learning to trust their gut takes time but educate them on the fact that their instincts are there for a reason, it's that split second questioning that flashes through their minds and they should listen to it.
    Just my thoughts.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:37 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Get to the book store right away and get a book called raising strong daughters. I have a 16 and 13 year old who are strong and independent.Also having open communication with them is very important.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 4:43 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I have always been open with my daughter (now 13) about sex and everything else..I'm not naive to think that she's going to tell me everything though...its hard these days with texting, sexting etc...just keep the communication going...I ask her what's going on at school and her friends...we've already had issues with some of the texts she received from a girl(her age) who was talking about group sex and other things..she was grounded from her phone for a while...we've also had issues with mean girls...I know I can't keep track of her 24/7 but I hope she'll come to me if she needs to..

    Answer by Jan40 at 5:06 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Been there, am there. I would discourage dating until at least 16, because they're too immature emotionally. Make sure they know what the signs of an unhealthy relationship are. Make sure they don't allow themselves to make their world all about a boy, they need to keep doing things with others and to better themselves and be confident and strong. Talk to their friend's Moms.
    We had issue with letting our dd get to know a boy in her 8th grade class and now, he's the one responsible for her feelings and he repeatedly controls and manipulates her. We're working w/a counselor to help her like herself better so she realizes she deserves better! Not easy to admit we made a judgement error. If and when she's ready, we want her to date many different boys. I know that sounds strange, but she'll never know nicer boys if she sticks w/this one! We were unprepared for the pitfalls of dating, especially one on one. Encourage group dates.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:50 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • teach them lines boys feed young impressionable girls. My oldest dd fell for the "if you love me you will" bs and she got pregnant at 13! I ordered her some self esteem from Ebay ...IN BULK! She's fine now and older but I couldn't believe she fell for that crap and yes he dumped her when he found out she was pregnant! That was heart breaking but we got through it but save yourself and your daughters the pain and humiliation, just talk with them and keep them talking with you!

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:37 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Speak to your daughters. Be straight forward and serious an be prepared with pictures, real stories etc. Most of all prepare yourself and be prepared to nswer questions. Let them know you are their mother and will be there for them always to help them with any proplem they may encounter. Keep your eyes open always. You are their mother, you know their behaviors more than anyone. They will need you always even when they reach adulthood. Most importantly pray and allow God to answer your own questons as to how to handle your own questions. He will empower you though prayers to be able to speak to you children. Open your mouth and allow his words to com out! God Bless!

    Answer by luna53 at 12:30 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • try getting them purity rings. Everyone at school is wearing them now, so they won't stick out.

    Answer by librarylover321 at 9:58 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • Lots of good advice already posted her, but I'd add when you talk with them, try to get them to think about consequences - imagine how certain decisions work out weeks, months, years later. So many teens think about here and now. Like if one takes/sends sexy pictures cause they are seriously in love, but then they break up, then and then.... And let the kids do the talking - ask what they think, ask about their friends, ask their opinion - and just interject yours if/when needed.

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 11:25 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • one thing my grandfather (he was my father figure since the real one was MIA) use to tell me,I think I was ten when he started, If a boy says things like "everybody is doing it" my repsonce should be "then you'll have no problem finding someone else" his advice made me an independed girl, I followed no one. If I felt it was wrong or I wasn't ready there was now way any boy was going to make me.

    Answer by northcarolinama at 9:08 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • When it comes to peer pressure, put it in terms of letting anyone control your life. If they do what everyone pushes them to do, someone can demand them to do anything, no matter how bad they might want to say no. Tell them not to let anyone make them into a chump in the interest of looking 'cool'.
    Have a man she admires, maybe her dad, maybe not - tell her the things he knows boys do to get girls to give them sex. And make sure they get that oral sex IS sex. You can get all the same diseases in the mouth that you can in the pubic area. Girls value affection and they should understand this. Girls give sex to get affection while boys give affection to get sex. It highlights what sex means to girls as opposed to what it means to boys.

    Answer by callmeann at 2:59 PM on May. 23, 2009

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