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What is an acceptable way for a child to express anger or frustration?

I feel my child has a right to be angry or frustrated when I tell her "no" but obviously, I don't want to deal with tantrums. I also don't want her to learn to "manfully" swallow her anger - there are too many long term health problems with that.
Any thoughts on how a preschooler can deal with their anger, disappointment, and frustration that isn't inappropriate and that doesn't drive mom crazy?


Asked by kaycee14 at 5:11 PM on May. 13, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 6 (129 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Give her a soft spot that is out of the way and tell her that is her mad spot and she can sit in it until she isn't mad anymore. Put soft things there, soothing music, books. Also show her the faucet motion. Tell her to hold her hands in front of her and open and close them as she blows air out of her mouth, sounding like water pouring from a faucet. Also teach her the calming position...Bring each arm across midline to the opposite shoulder, cross her feet, then rock front to back. She will calm her mind and release her stress without "manfully" swallowing it.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 5:19 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • a whipping boy.... sometimes you just want to hit something... let them, a stuffed animal is good, a sock em bop em thing is good-- someone once told me they let their kid squish playdoh to cool off but that seems like too much trouble for me.... tearing up our recycle bin paper lets my kiddos be both destructive and helpful so that works for us...

    Answer by Angelbluewingsz at 5:31 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Also teach her "feelings" words. Have her explain how she feels. Then tell her, I know it makes you feel "whatever word she uses",and i understand why, but, "whatever was said no to" isn't allowed. Then explain exactly what is allowed. Tell her you love her but not the action. Then see if she will do what is allowed.
    This way her feelings are out there and validated. And she knows why you said no and that you also know she is mad and that it is ok.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 5:41 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • wow I never thought of some of those things Bradenismyson. Those are great ideas! Im going to try those with my son.

    Answer by KatieMomma2Chey at 7:03 PM on May. 13, 2009