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Babies trip to MIL's house.

Background: I am in Washington where my husband is stationed, and MIL is in Tennessee with the rest of my husband's family. My mother and father live here, and get to see my 17 month old dd almost daily. My husband just got home last May from a deployment and is leaving again in September for Iraq. We are supposed to spend block leave there for the first two weeks in August. My MIL wants to fly up here in the middle of July and take my daughter home with her until we get there at the beginning of August. My MIL would have her for a full two weeks, and then we would be there for a full two weeks, so an entire month. My husband really wants his mother to be able to do this, and I agree that it isn't fair that she hardly gets to see her, but I really need help. I am so afraid of something happening to her and me not being able to get there, or it messing up her schedule,

 
2-1CavWife

Asked by 2-1CavWife at 6:20 PM on May. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I would do it for two reasons.

    1) Your MIL does deserve some time with your daughter and you obviously trust her or you wouldn't even think about it.

    2) You and your husband would get two weeks ALONE that would improve your marriage and provide a solid foundation for the deployment... having been through 3 deployments myself, i know how hard deployments are on a marriage, and those two weeks alone could be invaluable. Especially since he's leaving again soon.

    Of course you're going to miss her and you'll worry, but you can call as many times a day as you want, and you just have to make sure you have POA for your MIL and all the Tricare information and everything else she may need.

    It might actually screw up her schedule, but every time we go on leave our kids get messed up and aren't "normal" again until we get home and get back into our routine. But we make the best of it.

    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 9:21 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • or the fact that she is seventeen months old and has never been away from me for more than a day. I was thinking maybe going and August and leaving her there for two weeks after we leave so she is familiar with everything, but I am really worried about my daughter being okay. What can I do to help me get over this or at least be more comfortable?
    2-1CavWife

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 6:22 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • BTW my MIL is a really great lady and comes and visits frequently and we go there a lot too. She is trust worthy and so is the rest of my husband's family.
    2-1CavWife

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 6:24 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I don't know that you SHOULD be more comfortable with it. Yes, it's unfortunate that your mother-in-law hasn't been able to spend quality time with her grandchild. But taking her from her parents for two weeks? That seems like a little too much for a 17 month old to handle. Try to make a compromise and maybe only do the visits once you're physically there. I don't blame you for being apprehensive.
    MommyDumDum

    Answer by MommyDumDum at 6:24 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I personally think it would be to tramatic for her to leave you for a full two weeks. Bottom line if your not comfortable doing this than dont! You will be there in august so its not like she wont get to see her. Go with your gut.
    Amanda7891

    Answer by Amanda7891 at 6:27 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Your MIL should understand your conserns and be ok with the decision.
    Amanda7891

    Answer by Amanda7891 at 6:28 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • 1) 17 months is not a baby.
    2) you trust this woman and know she would take care of your daughter or you wouldn't even be considering it.
    3) if you do it, make sure you have power of attorney, especially medical, written up for her so if something does happen MIL can get proper IMMEDIATE care for your daughter.
    4) Personally, I couldn't do it but only because of the distance. The next state, maybe...but WA to TN? Not for two weeks.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 6:32 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • In my opinion I wouldn't allow it. It would hurt MIL feelings but your first duty is to your child. If there is any reservation whatsoever, follow your gut instinct. If something happen to your child you will never forgive yourself because the fact that you are posting tells me that deeply you are second guessing that decision. Also, those are two weeks of your child's lives you will never get back. your child is in a critical developmental stage and you and only you can be there to know if she is progressing and learning new things.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 6:33 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • 17 months is way too young for a child to be two weeks without mommy. If your hubby wants the child to spend those two weeks with MIL, you should go with the child. Then your hubby can join you guys for the second two weeks. If that is not possible, then the kid should not go and you hubby needs to grow a pair and stand up to his mommy.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 6:44 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • BTW, I am sure that your mother in law is great, but she is NOT YOU! She is not your kids mom, you are and you need to be there.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 6:46 PM on May. 13, 2009

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