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How do I stop my son lying?

I hear and have witnessed that children do bad things for attention. What I don't understand is that I compliment my son on new things he learns, when he says a word better than he used to- even when his coloring is scribble I compliment him. I say that I'm so proud of him, give him a hug and kiss and say good job and high five. There are so many things that I tell him good job. He gets attention-so.....??? any ideas? His father and I are not together and it's been that way since Oct. '07 The lying started 4-5 months ago. I talked to his dad about it, and he said he has no idea. And one main lie he has said a couple times, and very believable, is that my boyfriend spanked him. My bf and I live together but keep every cost in half. I take care of my son, he takes care of his. If one isn't listening the most we do is say "listen to what your mom/dad just told you. Do as they say". He's given Burt (bf) hugs, kisses, tickles..

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marcydarcy

Asked by marcydarcy at 9:07 PM on May. 13, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • Well I think that is a faze children go through. I know my did the same thing about my boyfriend. They say that he did this and that. Blow things out of per portion. Like if they were playing catch and didn't catch the ball in time he throw it at me. I could be watching. I don't know if they do this because they want you to be with there father. Which is pretty much what every child wants. About the other lying. I say just don't ask questions it sets a child up to lie. Like if you see him hit another child. Don't ask him why did he hit so and so. It just sets them up for lying. I not saying that is what your son is doing exactly. But it is just another idea.

    akmami0f4

    Answer by akmami0f4 at 9:20 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • if it's a small lie about catching or not catching a ball I wouldn't worry too much about it, it's more that some how from preschool or freinds he feels he's not good enough. how old is bf child. could there be a competition between the kids? maybe he's missing his dad and thinks by impressing dad through you (you telling daddy about his great accomplishments) that ds thinks daddy will come back? try having dad talk with him more often. i agree don't ask why did he do something bad just explain it's bad and say why it's bad, that could reenforce good behavior.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I've explained lying to my son. He knows the difference of a lie and a joke. I don't work so I see and hear everything that happens. He has told his dad, his daycare, and me that Burt is bad, Burt is mean, Burt spanked him- never been an opportunity for that. I don't like the fact that my son could be taken away from me over this and he's been told if he keeps saying things like that, that he can't be with me anymore. He cried and I told him that's why he has to stop. There is no competition, and there is no reason for him to not like Burt and make up lies about him. One lie that his dad and daycare teacher caught him in was minor. His dad was picking him up from dcare and he was saying how he helped teacher picking up, as teacher was shaking her head no, and informed daddy that he was actually the worst about helping. Can it make that much of a difference from getting praise, help and attention in one home ¬ the other?
    marcydarcy

    Answer by marcydarcy at 11:18 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I'm almost positive that he gets more help, activity, listening, sharing, playing together when he is at my house. At his dad's pretty sure, it's not as much, except when he is at daycare. Heck, his dad never noticed a mark on his front tooth that has been there for over a year- if he did what he says he does he would have seen that and also balls of wax quite visible in his ears. My son is with his dad mid Monday to mid Friday and with me mid Friday to mid Monday.

    "he gets more help, activity, listening, sharing, playing together when he is at my house. But if the lying was for attention why does he do it to me? And the only reason I could see that he doesn't like Burt is that he is taller and heavier than most people around him. I don't know about this one.
    I'm drawing a blank, I'm worried. If it was about him saying he ate his veggies but actually threw them in garbage- I wouldn't be posting about it.
    marcydarcy

    Answer by marcydarcy at 11:35 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • it's a phase. just keep explaining why it is wrong, eventually it will stick. my daughter did it for about 6 months, and then she just stopped. decided it was not cool anymore and that was the end of it.
    jcsmummy

    Answer by jcsmummy at 12:13 AM on May. 14, 2009

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