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If your stepchild is disrespectful in any way toward you do you handle it or wait for dad to? What if dad doesn't notice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:51 PM on May. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • I guess I'm lucky, but my stepson has never been disrespectful to me. But I've been in his life for over ten years, so if he were, I would handle it, then be sure to tell his father what happened. My husband doesn't tolerate any disrespect toward me. I think because my hubby always shows me nothing but the upmost respect, that our children have caught on and do the same.
    my2.5boys

    Answer by my2.5boys at 10:13 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • My husband shows my nothing but love and respect too. I have only been in his boys life for a few years and he would much rather live with his mom than us. He just got back from visiting with her and as always when he's been with his mom, his bad attitude is directed at me. It is very hurtful. Sometimes though I wonder if my husband even notices some of the remarks he directs at me. He can be sneaky with them. He is 10.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I'm sorry that he gives you such a hard time. I would be sure to correct him anytime he says something that is less than respectful to you. It will not only send the message to your step son that you are not his whipping post, but will also point out to your husband just how often it happens.

    Like I said I am very lucky in that my stepson (he's 13) is always very respectful when at our house. He comes over every weekend, and I believe he feels just as comfortable here with us, as he does with his mom and step dad.
    my2.5boys

    Answer by my2.5boys at 10:48 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • My two stepbabies are 6 and 4 and are normally smart enough not to get mouthy with me. ;-) I'm actually far, far more strict and more "feared" than either of their parents are!

    On those rare ocassions, they are given a time out and made to apologize. If appropriate, we have "a talk" which involves some sort of discussion regarding whatever type of bad behavior they showed. We have a lot of talks about integrity...

    I do not hit and I always make sure their dad knows what's transpired.

    Apparently, the guy their mom's screwing this week feels he has the right to spank them. Douchebag.
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 1:29 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • I am a full time SAH SM; so I don't wait for Dad of thier would be no ordedr during the day, LOL. If you are a non custodial SM, I wouuld talk to Dad about what you both feel is appropriate, effective, & necessary. Depending on a lot of factors the child has to know that they have to respect you. I would defer to Dad if he doesn't listen to you but, the best thing is for Dad to treat your discipline as important to follow. That's really the key, IMO. If Dad just isn't seeing it I would discuss it (maybe your Skid just needs to adjust or is naturally testing you) and come up with a strategy. If Dad doesn't do anything about it you're on your own, if you say Skid isn't going to the mall but Dad says it's ok, don't drive him there, if you say you're Skid needs a time out, put him there, (don't know the age). Follow through on your end so at least your Skid knows what to expect from you & be consistent. But, id Dad isn't cont
    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 11:48 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • if Dad isn't on board you'll be fighting a loosing battle. My SO & I don't alwasy agree on how to discipline but, I try to remain consistent so at least my SS knows what my boundaries are. In the end the only thing you really have any control ove ris how you choose to respond to your Skid.

    But, I would really do some soul searching about it if Dad doesn't at least back you up, because life will be really hard if you're not on the same page. GL!

    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 11:51 AM on May. 14, 2009

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