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What type of discipline to you find effective for your children?

I'm trying to discipline in a more loving and effective way. I find that I'm becoming louder and less effective and my children are more and more out of control. I'm currently reading 123 magic and I'm hoping that is a promising lead. I'm only on chapter 4. Please help. I am very commited to these children but I can't seem to get them under control. Thanks in advace for any input!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on May. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • 1-2-3 Magic is awesome!!!! Spanking never worked for my son. What worked for him was talking to him (not at him) about why what he was doing was inappropriate and what he could do instead. It also works to take away his favorite things. I used the 1-2-3 approach and I rarely had to get past 2 before he changed his ways. I did find that yelling doesn't work, my son just tunes me out. Staying patient is key. I also tend to ignore the small petty stuff.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:14 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • CONSISTENCY! If you say it do it. Make them believe you no matter what. If you say you will go home and they continue- leave. If you say no treat and they misbehave- no treat. If you say you will put in time out, do that. EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!! I also find that counting backward from 5 to 1 is much more effective than from 1 to 5 because you can always add another number to 5 but kids think 1 is their last chance. If I get to one it is an immediate consequence, usually a spanking bc I'm old school when it comes to my own kids. BTW, after a couple of spankings, I can't remember the last time I got down to 1, it has been over a year!
    haston

    Answer by haston at 10:14 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Consistency works best for us. My daughter stands in the corner and my son goes into the pack and play when they act up, but I have to make them go EVERY time or they will think I don't mean what I say.

    I have noticed the more stressed I am about everything else, the more I tend to get louder and the less they listen to me. I've made a commitment not to raise my voice, and when I get upset (mostly with my daughter, she's the troublemaker, lol), that I just calmly tell her to go to the corner, it seems to work.

    I think no matter what form of discipline you choose, you HAVE to be consistent.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 10:14 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • im in the same boat as u- i have no advice for u but i just wanted to give that little pat on the back by letting u know ur not alone! good luck and when u do find the answer please tell me!!!
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 10:15 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Talk to them first and if that don't work a good ass whippen In the bible it says spare the rod spoil the child Be there parent first and friend second
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • talk eye to eye and be calm,clear and set clear consqeunces if they behavior happens again and stick to it.
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 2:45 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • hmmm, Sounds good to me, spare the rod spoil the child..(.don't use a rod but love the child) aside from this, i have read that you can give them a choice. Maybe like, 'you have a choice, lets pick up your toys right now or we are not going swimming like you wanted today'. Try very very hard not to use the words---stop, come here, do this, do that, go...these are commands and if it is used all the time, child will block you out . Sometimes a child will do better if you can help out. Lets put your toys away now, let me help you. It is a lot of work to change our wording so they will listen, but it works. I worked in a daycare center and i used this system and the women there always wondered why the children listened to me and not them. Also, like several ladies have mentioned, consistency, you have to do that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:18 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • hmm,i am a very direct mother.firm and to the point.yet i listen and am there for her,my neighbor is more militant.very strict her kids are very scheduled.her kids listen to her like a army captain.i dont think she has much emphathy though.and then there is my other so called friendwho has no emphathy at all.i have seen her beat the crap out of her daughter.they are both very aggressive.(her daughter and her)i will be curious to see how all these kids end up?( i might add that if i see her beating her child again i am thinking about a least calling dys...
    raineydays377

    Answer by raineydays377 at 8:15 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • I'm in the same place as u i do the spanking thing n i doesn't work . So wht is the 123 magic ?
    kisd

    Answer by kisd at 12:01 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • 1 2 3 magic is a book and video that is a type of discipline system. I just haven't gotten very far and I'm sort of at the end of my rope. You can find it online very easily. It was recommended to me by a child psychologist. SO I"m hoping for the best. Thanks for the input everyone.
    Mamainluvof4

    Answer by Mamainluvof4 at 6:07 PM on May. 14, 2009

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