Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can your ex go for a change in custody after 8 and a half years and not even take all his time now?

My ex wants to change our long standing custody order for more time, he is getting married. He knows that we don't have money floating around for court due to economy. He doesn't even take all his time now, and my our kids our 12,11, and 9. We hardly see them, either they are at school or with friends alot. Which is healthy and normal. They don't want to go to their scheduled time as it is, so I am being accussed of parental aleination, which is a joke in this case. They have been told they are getting a new "MOM", I am supposed to dissappear, while I encourage healthy relationship with their dad and soon to be step mom I am not dissapearing. I have raised these kids with my husband for the last 8 and a half years pretty much on our own. I'm not backing away as he as suggested I do. I was told his new wife will be a much better mom and both my husband and I were told it was his turn now to have his family back.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on May. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • you gave birth to them, they're yours and nope you can not be replaced
    sounds like he's doing it because his new wife wants to play mom

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:57 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • What? Get yourself a good attorney and document everything that is said and done. Document everytime he doesn't show up for his visitation.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:10 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Yes he can do it now and he's probably just blowing smoke to impression the evil step mother. Get your lawyer back and let the court know he's not abiding by the old Order and you want it kept the same.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:01 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • I agree with the others--- contact your lawyer and let him/her know the situation. I would also have the kids talk to the lawyer and voice their feelings (about not wanting to go for visitation)-- that way it is documented that the KIDS don't want to see him-- and it is not you keeping them from him. I wish you luck and hope all works out!

    Answer by MizLee at 8:32 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • What state are you in? Here in Texas the parents have to have a advocate for the child/(dren) to determine what is in the best interest of the kids. The trouble with him not showing up for visitations is that only you, he and the children know it, there'd be no way to prove it unless you had supervised visitations.
    When they ask the children what their Dad's been telling them about the new step Mom and things of that nature, he's going to look like a complete jerk and I can almost promise you no judge is going to like that and he will get a courtroom butt chewing (and I'd enjoy watching).
    I agree with the others, he's prolly just trying to make himself look good to the new wife, but long as you've been a good Mom, they're not going to change the routine any more than necessary.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:08 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • Thanks everyone for your advice, I live in Canada. I feel better now about going forward with resolve. My kids are my world, and I will do anything for them. We don't generally use child advocates out here, I wish we did. However we do have child psychologists that interview them and us. It's the only way they get a voice.

    Answer by mich4kids2009 at 11:46 PM on May. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.