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What should i do???

My bf and i have been together for about 3 years now..lately we have been have some trouble where we dont even want to talk to each other so about 2 weeks ago we both decide that we are going to try and make it work we are going to start fresh.. but tonight i find out that the whole time he has been talking with another girl and we were sitting down talking and she texted him so we got into a huge fight and left for a while to calm down.. other than leaving him which i dont want to do we have 2 kids together and i realy think that we can work the stuff out because he says that nothing has happened they are just talking.. what should i do???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on May. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Couples counseling.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:08 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Have him put her on a speaker phone and have you there when he tells her you're staying together and don't call or text him again. You don't need to be nasty to her, in fact, you don't need to say anything to her at all...the purpose for the speaker is for you to hear the FULL conversation.

    If he really means nothing is going on, he won't have a problem with SHOWING you it's true!
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 11:08 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I'd probly try to work it out for a little while longer if your love is still strong but he should cut off all contact with the other girl.
    brittnbaby

    Answer by brittnbaby at 11:11 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • Real nice anon 11:12, and very constructive also!!!! I don't agree with that I have been with my SO for 5 and a half years, we have a 3 year old DD, and we are not married!!! I would definitely want some proof that he has ended things with this other girl, otherwise you are always going to wonder...Once trust is broken, it is so hard to earn it back! Is he really wanting to work things out? If so, you two really need to get out a phone book, and find some conciling. It will be the best thing for you, it will help you two communicate and get EVERYTHING out in the open, then you can figure out what to do from there...I like timelessglass's idea have him call her, and SHOW you that it is OVER (whatever it was) Good Luck girl, hope your man opens his eyes and realizes what he has before it is too late...
    pamelajqs

    Answer by pamelajqs at 11:20 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • You are not going to burn in hell, sweetie. I think God leaves that to those who try to take His job. It will take some time to trust him again, if you can. And like everyone else, you need proof that he has called it quits with his little side dish. Just because he calls her on the phone and says it's over doesn't make it so. Old friend did that to appease boy friend. She still kept her boy toy on the side. You need some hard proof. Like erasing her from phone, blocking her number if she tries to call or text. Did he start this while you two were in a rut. Maybe he was looking for a "friend" when he thought the relationship was ending. It still doesn't make it right. But maybe he is trying to end it since you are starting over fresh. Good luck, and you will not burn in hell. From I've read I'm not so sure it is all the hot. =) lol.
    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 11:31 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I DO HAVE A FRIEND THAT IS A GUY AND HIS GIRLFRIEND HAS A PROBLEM WITH ME! HOWEVER I'VE BEEN AROUND HER AND ETHING.FIND OUT IF HE WILL END IT,AND DON'T B ABOVE SNOOPING! HE WOULDN'T B IF THE TABLES WERE TURNED!!
    mommyhero

    Answer by mommyhero at 12:12 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • Im kind of in the same situtation you are in now, im still with him because i still love him and i have three kids w/him, he tells me nothing going on and blah blah and i need to trust him more! I keep my eye on him and check his phone when he is not looking and keep all of his contacts phone numbers just in case but without letting him knowing of course, i would say hang in there and if he wants you to trust nim say okay but trust me in everything that i do, even though nothing happening.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • tell him to stop. If not, tell her to respect your relationship and stop. If all that fails then you have to decide if you can accept their friendship or not.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:56 AM on May. 14, 2009

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