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What can I do about my out of control 12 year old?

My daughter is stubborn and hard headed. She doesn't listen to anyone she does on as she feels and desires. And I just can't take it anymore. I have a 20 mth old in the house so I try very hard to avoid confrontations with her but on occassion she pushes me to that limit.

I need to do something to get her on a straight path. Cause Im ready to give up.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on May. 13, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (9)
  • Oh my gosh I don't know! But when you find out can you tell me!!! I have a 10 going on 15 year old boy who is the same way...
    20hockeymom5

    Answer by 20hockeymom5 at 11:52 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • get her Manuka honey and the hibernation diet book for some great tips on how to be healthier.
    never give up just get some space from her if she is driving you nuts send her away to grandmas for a while.
    2mothershelpers

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 12:05 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • I wish I could but Grandma doesn't want her there. She said she is too grown. And she is more worried about the younger grandchildren.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • My children try so hard to back talk and get confrontational and we put a stop to it the min it started. What works for us is them knowing their possessions are not theirs. The ipods, TV, wii, heelys, etc. are all luxeries and they want to act up then they can call CPS and get a new family but they only leave with the clothes on their back. I explain what foster families usually provide; cheap clothing, a meal. They rarely act out. If they do it takes one reminder and they are back on track.

    Now I know a mom her daughter was manaic/bipolar (sp). Once on meds she totally changed. Off meds she was completely out of control. A good therphist would be able to diagnose that.

    Good luck ((((((((HUGS))))))))
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • You need to be firm and consistent, or you will have an out of control teen. My guess would be that she is jealous of the time that you spend with the baby and is acting out to get your attention; to her, negative attention may be better than no attention at all. Try to spend some time alone with her at least once a week; take a picnic lunch to a park and talk about what is going on in her life, with her friends, is she interested in any boys, who are the hot couples at school, what is going on in her favorite class, etc.? You need to gently let her know that her bad behavior will not be toleratated; when she disobeys you, she will lose a priviledge (two days of no TV or phone or whatever works for you).
    Good luck to you and your family.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:57 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • Talk to her doctor,then talk to her teacher to see how she is in school,you said ,you have a 20 month baby,are they your only children,if,your answer is yes,that means ,she was the only child for 10 yrs.,she probably was always spoiled,outspoken,but,when the baby came,your energy couldn't take her mouth,and the baby crying too,so,now shedon't understand.Please call the DR.
    lady-t3984

    Answer by lady-t3984 at 8:31 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • My 11 yr old is getting that way too! Making me old fast. I've found that picking my battles is one of my best options and taking away computer priviledges and sports activities is next in line...Those things really get her nose out of joint, but she seems to think before opening her mouth now....She started periods at 9 yrs old and those mood swings are killers for me! Hard to tell what is attitude and what she can't control that time of month...Kids start developing so early now and they don't know how to cope....Good luck
    wininnan

    Answer by wininnan at 9:04 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I have an 11-year-old boy who can get a real attitude, not so much with hateful words, but just an attitude--picking on brother, being argumentative...totally shut us out. When I spend extra time really talking with him and listening to him, joking around with him, it makes a big difference. Taking care of a 20-month-old definately keeps you busy and I know how hard it can be to get away, but it would be worth it! Set aside some time and RELAX with her (you both need it! :)...maybe send the BABY to grandma's! Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • My mother says you are screwed. You have a teenage daughter with exploding hormones, and to compound that fact you added a needed infant to the scenario. My suggestion though it might sound awful to some is to just buckle up and hang on. Enjoy the little one as much as possible. There is going to be very little you can do to satisfy that teenage girl. They are just plain nuts, and will be that way for about 10 years, or so. As for her being out of control, follow these instructions: Control, Alt, Delte...Control Alt, Delete...Control, Alt, Delete. And if that doesn't work: Escape, escape, escape
    Wonder_Mommie

    Answer by Wonder_Mommie at 2:40 PM on May. 24, 2009

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