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No Discepline vs. the Babysitter. How would you handle a wild child?

I am babysitting for a friend who has no discepline system in place for her almost 3 year old son. He hits, kicks and screams. He never does something the first, second or third time he is told. He does dangerous things (like running outside and towards the road when told not to ect). He throws his toys and is too rough with his infant brother. He gets spanked when she's had enough of just talking at him to stop doing stuff and sometimes she'll lock him in his room for time-out (she doesn't know how to make him sit in time out on his own when he doesn't want to).

I have extensive babysitting experience as well as rules and a time-out/reward system that has been effective for the 28 kids from 7 different families I've babysat for in the past. I am only watching her kids 2 days a week and am afraid my discepline vs. her lackthereof will be confusing.

Should I let him do whatever he wants like he is used to?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on May. 14, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Can you get mom on board with you? Just sit down with her and say this is what I'm doing with him at my house, we might have more success if we're disciplining in the same way. No matter what I would keep doing it. Kids pick up on stuff fast, he might realize that he can't get away with stuff with you like he can with his mom.

    Answer by toriandgrace at 12:16 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • (CONT.)
    I am afraid of offending her by appearing to undermine her by setting up rules when she doesn't have any. However, I'm afraid that with no rules, he is going to end up hurting himself (he really does do some dangerous things when he's not listening to what he's told).

    I don't know what to do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • speak up to your friend or do no t babysit

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 12:14 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • I think I can give that a try toriandgrace. That sounds reasonable.

    I forgot to mention it will be at her house. I feel all the more awkward because I'd be in HER home setting up MY rules. It'd be different if it were at my house but that's not an option.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • What's good for one is good for ALL(including and especially hiim) Keep up the rules and disapline action, other wise you will have a lot of confusion. The other kids will wonder why he can get away with everything and they can't.

    Answer by homealone_10 at 5:45 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • Even a younger toddler understands that different people have different rules. They are taught that they can do some things at home, but then not at Sunday School, or Grandma's, or whatever. I don't think it's confusing for you to use rules whether Mom does or not. Even if it's at his house. Since he's older, you can make abundantly clear that when you are there, you will not tolerate hitting, screaming, etc. You can't control what Mom does, and it would be great it you could get her on board, but your sanity isn't reliant on it. Check out the Love & Logic group on here. (It's helped me with our 2 y/o.) It has great tips on teaching kids to be responsible for their choices. Good choice / bad choice. Maybe once your friend sees that YOU are able to manage his behavior, she'll have hope that she can, too. You are a good friend to be concerned. Wishing you success!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 8:48 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • Well, you're going to have to have rules. He needs them even more than you want them (which I'm sure you know). He'll respect you more, too. But it will take time. Try to get the mom on board too. If nothing else, if she sees him behaving better for you, she mgiht change her mind then.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on May. 14, 2009