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Would you rather walk away to avoid fighting in front of the kids or stand up for yourself? Do you think I made the right choice. I am second guessing it.

Today my husband being an ass to our 4 year old son. When I told him to stop it he yelled at me to "shut the f*** up!" This is extremely disrespectful and NOT how I want my children to see me being treated. He has NOT treated me like this before. My gut instinct was to yell right back at him and stand up for myself. This, of course, would have started a full on fight. Instead I choose to walk away from his stupid ass. I got the kids and we left for the day and had a lot of fun.
My logic is that I don't want my kids to see their parents fight that way. Name calling is not constructive and they don't need to learn that is the way to confront people. Instead I will confront him tonight when he gets home and tell him to NEVER treat me that way again, especially in front of our children. I would rather end my marriage than have my children witness their mother being treated that way and think it is acceptable and normal.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on May. 14, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You definitely took the high road there. You said it best, "he was being an a**". You obviously have very good control of yourself. Something more people (like you husband) should learn to do. Treating you like that in front of your kids was totally disrespectful and he didn't deserve you to be so kind to him. Ask him if that is the way he wants you son to talk to you.
    When you confront him tonight rip him a new one : )

    Answer by AnnaMac at 1:43 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • I agree with you 100% and at least you're talking to him about it behind closed doors so your kids to witness anything

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 1:21 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • your very mature i think i would have snapped good job mom :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • GOOD FOR YOU!! YOU TOTALLY ROCKED IT!! I've done and said the same thing to my husband, and hes told me that was the best way to approach him and the situation!

    Answer by krisp4202 at 1:25 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • I would have to know the whole story, what was he saying to your kid?. Maybe you needed to shut up. Saying the f word is not the end of the world. If you didn't like that he said it, all you had to say is "I don't appreciate you talking to me like that" You don't have to start a fight over it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • As a child my parents CONSTANTLY fought in front of us kids! I PROMISED myself as a parent that I would NEVER do that, NO MATTER WHAT- it causes your kids to feel like they have to pick sides, which is NOT right! I am just like you though, I would do the exact same thing! One thing that I noticed with your situation that might have upset your hubby was when you told him to 'stop' when he was with your son, like you were correcting the way he parents, which is fine, just not infront of your son! For some reason men dont like us women correcting them when they are wrong... we are just trying to help! But Im FAMOUS for doing that! Now If my hubby is doing something I think is wrong, I wait and tell him later.
    But it was EXTREMELY WRONG for him to talk to you like that NO MATTER WHAT U SAID- I agree with AnnaMac, he is teaching your kids to talk that way to you and that its okay! THAT BULL****! Rip him a new one! :)

    Answer by sxc_mom_of2 at 2:16 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • I'd've grabbed the kid and walked out.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:30 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • You have the right idea, so many children are put through the trauma of watching their parents fight, and the name calling and hitting and everything that goes with it. Can you stand up for your self with out yelling in front of the children. That would teach them that it is ok to stand up for your self. You will be teaching them how to be accertive

    Answer by homealone_10 at 6:06 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • Anon- seriously dont give advice anymore. If the dad was being an ass to the 4 year old she had a right to step in. whats the 4 year old supposed to do tell daddy to stop??? She did the right thing as for him telling her to stut the f up. it wasnt about the words that he used, i agree that you shouldnt talk like that infront of a child but chances are he will forget about it. its the principle that the dad just showed his son that its ok to treat women with disrespect. thats not a good lesson. so if you dont understand the situation instead of being a jerk and replying anon instead of standing behind what you said.. dont say anything at all.. Grow up.

    Answer by ChloeMom0709 at 11:43 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • You can say what you need to say in a calm assertive voice. I think that was a good idea to leave though. That is like "I'm getting the hell away from you!"

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 6:15 PM on May. 14, 2009