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How do you truly forgive someone, even though you keep rehearsing what happened in your head?

I know forgiveness isn't about the person who offended you but that doesn't seem to be helping.

Answer Question
 
His_Mommy26

Asked by His_Mommy26 at 6:13 AM on May. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (32 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Forgiving someone that has hurt you can take time. If you can truely forgive this person it will take time and understanding from them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:21 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • forgive does not mean forget. forgive means you have made peace between you and God with it, but for a long time i confused forgiving someone with "letting it be okay" you can forgive someone, but it doesn't make it okay. forgive between you and god. go from there.
    Quixxy44

    Answer by Quixxy44 at 6:39 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • my neighbor and i have been fighting for 2 yrs.i also have been apologozing for my side for 2 yrs yet she has never said a thing.my thought is you just have to do it,because believe me it will escalate.i know myself i get frustrated.(why hasnt she acepted my apologies)(why doesnt she apologize to me)and i get mad again.if she was to come over and say lets talk i would.she wont though.so i say just do it.you dont have to forget...u will feel better.
    raineydays377

    Answer by raineydays377 at 7:59 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • I am horrible at forgiving =( I wish I could help you.
    ShannonLeigh02

    Answer by ShannonLeigh02 at 8:06 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • Forgiveness and forgetting are two totally different things and it is easy for us to emotionally separate the two. Forgiveness means that you no longer blame them for their wrong! You not longer judge them for the wrong they have done! Forgetting is something that does not happen as quickly or as easily...not to say that forgiveness is easy by any means. You can still know what they have done and at times be hurt by it. But when your heart is forgiving it makes it easier to move on, and your heart can begin to heal!
    Rebecca727

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 8:12 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • Stop dwelling on what happened. When it comes to your mind distract yourself.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 9:25 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • it's called rumination (replaying it over and over). There are ways to stop doing that. You can google it and find ways that work for you. The best one for me is to turn on the radio or start singing. It stops the thought that is tormenting me and I start thinking of something else. There are a lot more.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:29 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • Forgiveness is a choice that you make to let something go. Every time the thought of the incident comes to mind, you have the ability to reject the thought and to think about something else. If you consistently do that, you should begin to think less and less about it. Forgiveness does not mean that the relationship will be as it was before the incident. That can happen, but it often takes a lot of hard work on the part of both parties and a good bit of time. I think that too often people believe that forgiveness means you will feel about the person just like you did before. Again, that can happen, but you will have to learn to trust that person again.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:33 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • Extreme mind control and give yourself permission to let it go. True forgiveness is so hard.
    proud2Bmomma

    Answer by proud2Bmomma at 11:10 AM on May. 14, 2009

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