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DH in contact with his EX

please guide, i need some opinions. my DH is in contact with his ex. i happened to read his emails the other day. It did not look serious but i am disturbed as he didnt tell me anything about it.
the email said it was nice talking to you yesterday and i am thinking why are they talking and since when and why dont i know about it? they had a bad breakup and i thought they'd never talk to each other again, but apparantly they are friends looking forward to meet each other!
i dont want to confront him as i dont want him to get the impression that i am spying on him, but i am disturbed... what should i do??

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on May. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Ok this happened to me about two months ago.. I happen to go on the computer and this email was in the in box so I opened it. It was his ex and they had been texting and emailing for about three weeks. This one said that she shouldn't have kissed him because she was drunk.. When the heck did they even see each other.. Get this.. He went out with work friends and then met up with her.. Nice huh?? I even dressed him that night and helped him get his stuff together in order to go and stayed home with his daughter while he met her. I was out of my mind. I woke his butt up, since it was a Sunday and gave him hell.. I told him that he must have wanted me to find it since it was left open.. Use that excuse to get him talking.. That's what I did..
    Good Luck to you.. Don't let him talk his way out of it either.. Something is going on if he isn't telling you that he's talking to you.. He's hiding it so that means something..

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • Ask yourself why he feels the need to keep this from you this far. Checking his emails, worrying simply because he's talking to his ex, all reasons to just not deal with the confrontation of something innocent.


    Answer by Chrissy629 at 11:59 AM on May. 14, 2009

  • maybe its for closure. you dais he had a bad breakup, if they were close, and something that bad happening may have made him feel like even though it was over, things were still kind of left in the open, ya know? it was like that with my ex, we had a real bad break up, and i didnt talk to him until he started dating one of my friends, and while its still akward to talk to him, i dont think about him anymore, ever, not even to be angry with him fro what he did, and i never get that feeling that things were never quite worked out between us. of course, DH knows i talked to him and saw him when he was hagnning around my friend.
    maybe ask DH if he's heard from her latley, and if he says no, then bring up the fact that you saw his emails and noticed that they had been talking, and you would like to know whats going on, and that it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable and confused.

    Answer by megan479 at 12:04 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • My DH has occasional contact with his ex's on Myspace/Facebook and sometimes run into each other at social events because they still have a lot of mutual friends. As long as it is only online and all appears to be friendly/innocent and not "I want you back" stuff, I wouldn't stress over it.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:28 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • If it's innocent your husband shouldn't be keeping that from you so you have to go out digging for it, but he might be afraid of your reaction. I say talk to him about it. let him know you're not accusing him but want to know why he wouldn't share that with you. Either way, if you keep it inside it will just eat you to wonder, if you let it out it might cause a fight but you may be able to get some answers. good luck

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 12:32 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • Maybe it's just innocent and he didn't think to tell you. That has happened with me before. I started talking to my EX that I had a bad breakup with and we were talking for about a month before my hubby found out. We weren't doing anything just talking. I just didn't think to tell him. I don't know why I didn't. I guess since nothing came up with my EX as the subject i didn't even think to tell him. Is there anyway this could be what's going on?

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 12:39 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • my hubby's ex contacted him and he neglected to tell me. i saw on his myspace his email it looked innocent and it was. at first i didn't say anything cause i wanted to see if more happened which it didn't in fact he happened to bring it up and he said he had forgotten to tell me sooner. this was before we married. i ended up writing her back telling her i didn't see the need to be friends with her. she had asked why aren't we friends. he had never responded just ignored her. i told him what i did and he didn't care. cause frankly why should he care it's not like he liked her anymore anyway. that tells me that is where he stands with her. if he gets mad at you then it seems he is hiding. when your married or even when your not if he doesn't care for her he shouldn't care what happens with you finding her emails.

    Answer by melody77 at 1:21 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • actually i think we were married when this happened but not sure but really close to when we were married.

    Answer by melody77 at 1:21 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • That is bad. Just bad. Confront him and make it stop immediately.

    Answer by SandraB383 at 2:10 PM on May. 14, 2009

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