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How many of you are married and have a fantasy of being with another woman?

I love my husband VERY much. And I know that he loves me. But I have a problem. I think alot about being with another woman.I can't tell him. I have told him before and it seemed to put stress on our relationship. He of course wanted to be a part of it and that's not what I want. Am I selffish? I don't think so.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on May. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I think about it alot... I would never tell my husband, I don't know how he would react, I wouldn't act on it, but it is something I would love to try... makes me hot to think about it now! gotta go..

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I have fantasized about another woman (ANY woman) when he goes down on me...and I agree it would be JUST for me so I have never told my husband. I think he would be hurt and I am not curious enough to follow through...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I had expiramented in high school, and I especially have dreams like that... I find the female form much more attractive than the male form... my husband is aware, but we agree that nothing will come of it because we are both too jealous... he says he wouldn't mind being there and not touching but then he'll think about it and say that it would bother him to have anyone else touch me like that...and I think that is sweet, so it remains a fantasy...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • it's healthy to have fantasies but to act them out when your married and he doesn't agree with them then your not being a very good wife. selfish maybe but you haven't done it yet and don't. fantasies get ruined when you try them out. they aren't as good then when they are in your head.

    Answer by melody77 at 1:29 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I agree with the PP. I think its a very normal fantasy. One that a lot of women have...but in a marriage I think it's best to keep fantasies that involve other people as fantasies. Bringing other people into the mix more often than not creates problems in the relationship. You could try watching some girl on girl porn together or something like that...,maybe that would be enjoyable for you both?

    Answer by moniquinha at 1:36 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I think those fantazies are fine. Either you can keep it to yourself or share it with you dh....but IMO it's always best to keep fantazies as fantazies. They are always better and more fun in your head anyway.

    Answer by robinann5 at 1:37 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • Is acting our your fantasy worth ruining your marriage? That may or may not happen if you ever did act our your fantasy but it is a question you have to ask yourself. I think many women have this fantasy, especially since it has become more socially acceptable for "experiment." But just because it is ok in pop songs does not mean it is ok for everyone.

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 2:01 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • No you are not selfish. I have the same thought about a married girlfriend of mine and I have told my husband that I could never share any lover. I wouldn't share him and I wouldn't share her if I ever did anything with her. Sure he could watch but he couldn't join in! Nope its perfectly normal in my opinion. But if it does bother him I am curious, is it because you won't agree to a threesome or does he just prefer your attention on him? I would just not tell him about it if I were you. I personally think it is kind of cheating though. I am a mental monogamist and I struggle with that one.

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 5:33 PM on May. 14, 2009

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