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How to help my daughter adjust from a visit with dad and blended family?

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jmwyman

Asked by jmwyman at 12:11 PM on May. 14, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (5)
  • Be a little more specific about what she's having trouble with? How old is she?
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:20 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I wish you could explain more..
    My dd sees her dad maybe 5 times a year....we too are a blended family..
    I have a very hard time with her when he leaves, she cries for him...I miss Daddy...and my heart breaks...
    He is a good father, but the time they spend together, I have to say he is a Disney Dad...

    I have learned to do tough love with her and just be totally honest...
    When she is crying I will say....You live here and Daddy lives there...
    or when she says I miss daddy...I say then call him...
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 12:21 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I would say encourage more involvement even if that just meant a phone call every few days or sending a letter. Also, explaining the situation in terms of her age is another good thing to do. Having a conversation at his/her level lets them know they can come to YOU and let them know how they feel.

    SweetKYmom

    Answer by SweetKYmom at 12:26 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • My daughter is 7. She goes to her father's home for 5 days every other week. In the past year things have been very hard for me to handle. She is constantly coming home with a new array of questions/problems. He has married and has had 2 more children. This wasn't a problem for me, actually I thought it was going to be good for her to have siblings. My opinion has changed due to many differences in our parenting techniques. The step mom now wants to be called "Momma Julie" b/c her son has been calling her Julie instead of mom. I had to hear of this second hand from my daughter. This is just one issue. The most important issue is new for me to deal with. The step mom has given my daughter advice to not have meltdowns when she comes home b/c "your mom won't let you come over here if you do". How do I deal with this?
    jmwyman

    Answer by jmwyman at 12:42 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • As far as stepmom being called "Momma Julie" I think she should have discussed that w/u & her reasoning behind it 1st. It wouldn't have been so bad. My girls both call very close friends of mine "Momma Karen" & "Daddy Ryan". They r their 2nd set of parents. My oldest calls her stepdad "Daddy Red" & my youngest calls my ex(the oldests dad) "Uncle Joey"...altho idk y except that he's good 2 her! So, I really wouldn't take that 2 hard. @least she isn't encouraging her 2 just call her Mom. & the other about her advising her...if she (stepmom) has concerns she should discuss them w/u & her dad.
    My oldest used to have the same "meltdowns." We learned that when her daddy started telling her "I'll be back in 2 wks" or "we'll go shopping nxt wkend" whatever the case may have been, she did better. BUT, he has 2 follow thru! I'm happy 2 say she doesn't cry @ all now! She knows w/out a doubt that he WILL be back 2 get her.
    bridgeh2o

    Answer by bridgeh2o at 3:27 PM on May. 14, 2009

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