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Attatched Baby- Can't Put Her Down

My daughter screams and cries the second I put her down. She always wants me to hold her. She used to do this most of the time, but now she never lets me put her down! She will only let me put her down if she can still see me, and she'll only stay down for a minute or so. I love holding her, but I can't always do so. Any tips? (she's 4 months old, btw)


Asked by Call-Me-Mommy at 12:46 PM on May. 14, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (16)
  • She's 4 months old! Please don't leave her to cry. She has only been in this world for 4 short months. She just learned that you and her are not the same person, she is having seperation anxiety. Get a carrier (I recommend the Moby Wrap) and hold her as much as you can manage. If you must put her down, put her in a swing/bouncy seat/etc. and talk to her the whole time, in a happy voice. She will learn she can't always be held by natural life occurences, like being in the car and mommy taking a shower. There is no reason to force this lesson on her at this age.

    Answer by TanyaR1024 at 1:35 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I know it sucks, but let her cry. You can not hold her 24 hours a day, plus she needs to roll around and develop her muscles and stuff. I'm not saying let her cry for hours on end, but she needs to be out of your arms sometimes.

    Answer by ajguinn at 12:50 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • just put her in a boucy chair and let her scream it out.. if you keep going over and getting her then your not helping.. shes not going to think you have left her and do drugz when shes 9m.. just leave herthere and talk to her so she knows your still around.. she will understand it will just take a while..

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 12:51 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • i agree completely. its hurting her more than helping her - having you hold her. she has to cry it out. it will be hard, and take time and patience. but its better in the big picture. she KNOWS you love her.

    Answer by Tiffany8168 at 12:54 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I agree with ajquinn. Yes it's normal that she wants you to hold her, but you have to be able to do other things, you know, like bathe, pee and poop, eat, etc. LOL She will cry at first but the sooner she gets used to occupying herself the better. My brother's 1 yr old still only wants to be held because that's what they always did. And so now if someone watches him, he cries the ENTIRE time and wants to be held. I used to put my son in his bouncy seat and put him on the dryer and turn it on. He loved it. Good luck.

    Answer by GMR at 12:54 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • i had this problem to my daughter is 4 months old and i got her a baby gym and she will cry for a min but then the toys get her attention and shes fine they are pretty cheap i think they start at like 17$ i kno its hard but this will help the both of you!

    Answer by nursinghannah at 1:01 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • Just think of it this way.....hundreds of yeras ago if you put your baby down it was likley to be eaten by predators so I think babies have a natural instinct to be held and protected by there mothers....get a sling and this to shall pass :) good luck

    Answer by jokermom at 1:50 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I agree with TanyaR1024. I understand that it's not easy but she's still very young. There is a good chance she is just bored. 4 months is a transition period for many babies. They are old enough to know that they want to do things and see things but they are not old enough to have good enough body control to go places and play with toys the way they want to. Give her a little more time and maybe she will grow out of it as she hits a few more milestones and can do more on her own. In the mean time, take advantage of nap time to get stuff done. (= Good Luck.

    Answer by Krysden at 1:52 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • Get a sling or a wrap and wear that baby!! I find it amazing that people think they will spoil their child by holding them. Yes, there are times you can't hold her, like TanyaR1024 said, but if you can, you should hold her! It's one of a baby's needs. You would never say you are spoiling your child by feeding it when it's hungry, you would never say you are spoiling a child by changing it's diaper too often. So why is it spoiling it if you hold it?

    Answer by mkemom519 at 2:43 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • She is getting spoiled. Put her down, stay where she can see you and let her cry a few minutes longer each time you put her down. She will keep this up until she is walking if you don't put a stop to it now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on May. 14, 2009