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Is this part of life?

Some days I feel it's good. You know the relationship between us, but I feel like when I'm nice he's mean/crabby & when he's nice I'm mean/bitchy. Is this cycle normal? I try to snap out of it when I am being a bitch, but I just can't seem to stop complaining and then I lay down at night and think damn why did I just act like that all day when I had no reason to.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on May. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I call it PMS mouth at my house. I'll fly off the handle for no good reason. He stands there with a stunned look on his face. I hear what is coming out of my mouth and my brain tells my mouth to shut up but the translation gets lost somewhere. I can be actively thinking "WTF is wrong with you, you don't mean that, take it back" and the moth just keeps on going. Max. Strength Pamprin helps a lot though. Thank God I'm married to the most understanding man on the planet.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:28 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I think it's a fear of committment. I get like that too. It seems like things are fine between us and then BAM he starts nit picking at me, or I do something juvenile and stupid(like not answer the phone) for no reason really. We both have been in some pretty bad relationships. So I think sometimes when you meet someone who you may actually love(i'm afraid to say I love you anymore, and we've been together 6 years and have 3 kids together).

    And most guys don't want to talk about "Feelings", it makes them all weirded out. I think it's seriously a commitment issue. At least in our "relationship" it is. There are power struggles, who's right, who's wrong, instead of just focusing on the good in the other person, when things are going well me, personally, I tend to get freaked out about it. I think psychologists call it "self sabotage" because you don't feel you deserve to be happy When you do deserve it. It happens.
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 2:29 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • Im in the same cycle with my husband and its because he's a liar. He tries to make up for his lies by kissing my ass and I am fed up with it to the point that I no longer care if I am nice to him or not. I know that sounds horrible but he is only nice when he has been caught or he is doing something wrong, he is never nice out of the kindness of his heart, he always did or wants something in return.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 2:30 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • wow this post made me feel really good and a little bit more normal lol!! thanks to the first comment i have explained that ecact statement to my husband many time and he says i am crazy for doing that lol!!!!
    ashleystoner86

    Answer by ashleystoner86 at 2:34 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • i ahve to say that i would talk to him about it, maybe it's just the timing that is wrong, if not, i personally would take it as a sign. i remember being bitchy for no reaosn, but my instincts told me otherwise and they were right. it doesn't seem that you have to same problem, more like you just seem to crash into each other with oposite moods. try really hard, i know how tough it is, when i had that bitchy mood, before, it was ecasue my husband was cheating on me, and when he called it off after two weeks my mood just relaxed, and before he told me, i was over excited. the worse part is that he did it, but he picked the worse time to tell me, it was one of teh happiest days i had, and teh worse day we've had.
    sherlockhlm

    Answer by sherlockhlm at 2:40 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I see what you guys are saying. I don't know sometimes I get like ughh when it's time to go home that I actually find work as an escape and I know he does too. Like an escape not to deal with crap! I feel like most of the time it gets like that is when it comes to cleaning. I get frustrated like I am picking up after a little kid while he watches TV. Would be different if I was a SAHM, but I'm not I bring in more bacon than he does even though I don't do as much labor but is that my fault. Even though my job is not physically tiring, my brain is exhausted and I wish I could just kick my feet up, but I can't not because he tells me to but just because I can't stand living in mess. It's like I have developed OCD. Then, when he cleans it's like all hell breaks loose and makes me feel what I do isn't good enough because of his attitude.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • Him not so much. But I start picking on every little thing he says or does. When I catch myself thinking like this I tell myself that it has to be me and not him and to cool it. This is one of the times that I'll suggest an evening out - a movie, a long walk, some leisurely shopping with him, to clear the air.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:54 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • Ask him if he sees the same pattern. He might think it's him. You think it's you and it's possible you two are just sort of feeding off each other's energy. Maybe if he knows you don't mean to do it and he doesn't mean to do it then feelings won't get hurt. Personally, I'd punish him and tell him he'd have to have sex with me every time he griped about something! I'd also tell him he had to give me sex whenever I griped!!!!! It would at least make the griping interesting! Woo Hoo!!!!!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:32 PM on May. 14, 2009

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