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HELP! Let me know if I should be angry or not!

My husband is working 7 days a week, from 10:30-6 or 7 in the evening. Then a guy calls him up 2 hours before he gets off work saying they need to do band practice right after work, even though they don't have an entire band; that's beggining to happen 3-4 nights a week. That goes until 10 pm because that's when the studio they practice at closes. They play and they drink, then they want to go out the bar and play at the bar or he goes to karaoke to see if he's gonna work or not for 10-20 bucks and drinks half or all of it away. While I am a stay at home wife; which I love to do, don't get me wrong. I asked him to come straight home right after work for only an hour and a half and then go do what ever it is he wants, so I can get that small break. His solution is for me to, "Just get a job." He evens let me forget that it was Mothers Day! We don't have any connection to the "outside world", so I had no reminders or-.....cont..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on May. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Cont....,
    anything! All I got from him was a kiss and a "By the way, Happy Mothers Day." from him. Last night I asked him were you ever even thinking about doing any kind of celebration for me?? He had to think about that for a moment and he says, "Well, yea....I was gonna suprise you." Then I ask him with what? What were you gonna surprise me with? "....."Well, uhm.....like a dinner or something." Now I wouldn't mind this kinda crap happening 5 or 10 years down the road, but when our first kid is only over a year old?! Am I being irrational?? Immature?? Selfish??
    Now I asked this very same question earlier today and only got like 2 responses. Both people said they would be angry....any more???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • OH PLEASE, you are online. Your computer tells you what day it is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • It sounds to me like you are not being appreciated! I would go crazy if my husband spent that much time away. You should tell him to make more time for you. If he doesn't care about your feelings, then he's not worth it! YOu should also try to get some friends of your own, get a babysitter once in a while and have a girls night out! I wish you luck! You could message me anytime and talk! :)
    trendy4you

    Answer by trendy4you at 8:38 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I'm sure you knew he lived this kind of life before you married him. You probably even hung out with he and the band members before you had your child. I'd say you accepted your lifestyle before you said I DO and it seems silly to complain about it now.I don't know any musicians who run home to help the old lady out bc she needs a break. They are creative ppl who concentrate on their talent, not babysitters. Call your mom or friends or neighbors to help you get over your boredom with your chosen life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • Does he keep you and your daughter chained up in the house? Is there a reason you guys can't go out to the "outside world"?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • i have to agree.ive been with musicians and they CAN be good husbands,..but they do stay out alot.idk,.you can bring up quitting his band which is in a way a bit selfish,..BUT he did choose to get married and have a fam.so you choose ,..but why cant you go out and make some friends of your own?
    naturepeace

    Answer by naturepeace at 8:45 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • Well, no. We don't have a the internet ALL the time. Our internet and phone got shut off about 2 weeks ago. So therefore, I did NOT have a computer remind me what day it was. And NO he was not in a band when we were first together 3 years ago. This whole band thing just started about 6 months ago. He's 37 years old and he had a whole different lifestyle before we got married. Now, he's spending what ever time he wants away from home now. He's "restricted" me from some friends of mine(not close ones though) and does have a good reason (long story). I'm "stuck" in the house because I have no money to go anywhere but a walk. I have to ask for money and have a very good reason for it, especially if it's over 20.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • Tell him what I told my boyfriend, I need time alone to do my own thing even if it's going tanning for 20 min it's MY time, I don't want to be bothered. The other thing I've told him is "If I'm gonna be a single mom then leave and let me be one." He has been better about letting me go and do my thing when I want to and I usually always go when the baby is sleeping anyway so not like he has to do much. And he's still here so I guess he must've understood! Good luck but don't stay in it for the kids because if you aren't happy they will be able to tell that! **HUGS**
    slynnb

    Answer by slynnb at 10:48 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • i wouldnt be mad fathers day is next month, and you are not obligated to do anything on fathers day. remember just because you are a stay at home wife does not mean that isnt a job, if your kids are like my varmitts it is a job. see if he likes coming home to no dinner or no in house i bet his buddy wont be getting all that time any more when thier isnt a intamate relationship at home.
    eyesonmyback

    Answer by eyesonmyback at 1:52 AM on May. 15, 2009

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