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I have to......

This is the most irritating thing to me. I cannot stand it when people say "I have to" or "I had to". U never and will never have to anything. We make choices and whether or not we like the choices we are given, we still have a choice in every single solitary thing we do. I argue with my bf about this constantly. He says " a choice made under duress is not a choice". That makes no sense to me at all, the statement actually proves my point. I just wish everyone took responsibility for their own actions, because that is what this comes down to. Are there any moms surfing the new questions tonight who can identify with this or who at least can admit this is true. I do not believe I know everything about everything, but I came to this realization a couple years ago and I bring this up with people every chance I get and once they put some thought into it they know I am correct.


Asked by truthteller0722 at 9:06 PM on May. 14, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 19 (6,797 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (37)
  • I think that people often feel powerless and as if they don't have choices that they actually do have. I completely agree with that statement. However, no amount of trying to convince anyone does nothing but frustrate you - this is one of those things people need to figure out for themselves... and it's not your responsibility to enlighten the world (they won't hear you anyway). Be glad you have discovered the freedom and power in this realization and instead of being angry with others for not being as advanced, wish it for them and lead by example, and understand everyone learns at a different pace, particularly on the big stuff.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:31 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • Well I have to say I think your RIGHT!!! LOL

    Answer by lisarose45 at 9:09 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • Well, there are a few things we HAVE to do (most of them involve the bathroom). But I do agree with you that I do not know everything and I am willing to learn. And I also agree that some of the things that happen to us, we do make the choice (however, no woman ever chooses to be raped and no child ever choses to be molested). But, I understand where you are coming from with this. You just might want to watch saying everything that happens to us is by choice.

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 9:14 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • I disagree. In a sense you're right...everyone has free will....but in another sense, some people HAVE tO do things to survive. People HAVE TO eat, have to have clothing, etc. We also HAVE TO pay taxes...unless we want our freedoms taken away. Some single mothers HAVE TO work if they want to take care of their children. There are certain values, morals, and safety issues that, in order to be upheld, have motions that HAVE TO be taken. It's not so simple as you're making it sound. I don't think that everyone that uses the excuse that they had to do something is trying to get a cop-out. Sometimes it's legitimate. I've thought about it extensively in different situations as well, and I HAVE TO disagree with you. Sorry.

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 9:15 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • No, I agree that you always have a choice. Even if someone has a gun to your head, you have a choice. It's just that sometimes you have a choice between two bad choices, or two choices where the outcomes are so unknown as to make it a crap shoot which to pick. I think a lot of people use that as a figure of speech- whereas they had to make a hard choice when the choice was painful but the alternative was worse. I'm not sure in what context you are referring to it- could you elaborate a bit more?

    Answer by Freela at 9:17 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • no u r wrong. we do not have to shit or piss or eat or breathe. we choose to those things as well. just because we may die or become ill if we do not do them does not mean we do not have a choice. WE DO!!!!!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 9:18 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • ther should be no reason to elaborate. i am speaking of every single solitary thing in your life. you have a choice in EVERYTHING! no exceptions whatsoever. good or bad , healthful or fatal. still a choice!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 9:21 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • getting raped obviously is not a choice, this is an occurance. but if the rapist says you do this or u get raped, that is a choice

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 9:23 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • okay, so what's the question? or is this just a lecture?
    and... you can choose not to breathe, but that only lasts as long as your conscious... once you pass out your body breathes on its own.... therefore no, you cannot choose NOT to breathe, at least not forever. eventually you HAVE to take in a breath. your body "Makes" you....

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 9:27 PM on May. 14, 2009

  • Are you snapping at me? It kind of sounded that way. I was just asking for a bit more context! Now that you've given it, I do have to disagree somewhat, in that I do not particularly think that bodily functions like breathing or heartbeat are a choice. If that were true, we could will ourselves to stop breathing and die right now, or we could will our hearts to beat again as we lay dying. Yes, you can choose to stop your breathing through suicide, but you can't simply just stop breathing and die... at worst you pass out and resume breathing again because your autonomous nervous system is programmed to handle things like that. There are also some circumstances that are difficult to escape... for instance we are born into a certain body. We may alter some characteristics of that body, but not all. However we can choose how we respond to our circumstances, and I think free will stems from that.

    Answer by Freela at 9:27 PM on May. 14, 2009