I was watching the beginning of an Oprah show and this woman shot her husband of 16 yrs. She claims she was abused that long and did not leave because he was a police officer.
I suppose because I have a very loving husband I just cannot fathom why any woman would stay with a man that abused her? Even if you are afraid, even if you cannot go to the authorities, during those 16 yrs wasn't there one time where you could have just drove away with the kids and never turned back? One time when you could have called the police in a different area? Certainly most women should know cities have safe houses. There is no logical excuse I can see for putting up with abuse. Please ladies if you are reading this and are in an abusive relationship, please call a help line. Get yourself out of that situation. You deserve better! And so do your children.
Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on May. 14, 2009
Answer by Marix3 at 10:39 PM on May. 14, 2009
In my case, there was some fear of being alone, but it wasn't the main reason. The problem was that everything happened so gradually. It's hard to draw a line when things are only slightly worse than the last time. By the time I realised that there was something wrong in the relationship, it was obvious that it was VERY wrong. At that point, it became very hard to admit that I had allowed him to do me so much harm. Only a worthless fool would get herself in such a mess! So for I while, I kept trying to convince myself that it wasn't so bad, while knowing all the time it was. Of course, I finally had to accept reality and do something about it. This was me. But now he's gone and l am trying really hard to understand why l allowed myself to be manipulated into thinking it was mostly my fault for his abusive behaviour. There won't be a next time, love had enough.
Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on May. 14, 2009
Answer by admckenzie at 10:43 PM on May. 14, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on May. 14, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on May. 14, 2009
Answer by SalemWitchChild at 10:48 PM on May. 14, 2009
Women stay in abusive relationships for many reasons. They do not stay because they "want to be abused."
A battered woman may believe:
His violence is temporary.
With loyalty and love, she can make him change.
His promises that it will "never happen again".
It's her responsibility to keep the family together.
There will be more good times.
She may tell herself: He's had a hard life.
He needs me.
All men are violent; it is to be expected.
She may deny or minimize the violence.
She may believe her abuser when he tells her that his abuse is "her fault."
Many women do not want the relationship to end; they want the violence to end.
Fear is a major factor.
Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on May. 14, 2009
Answer by SalemWitchChild at 10:52 PM on May. 14, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on May. 14, 2009