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I really just dont know what to do

I have a "friend" watching my baby because I just got a job on Wednesday and probably wont be able to get child care until next week sometime. I thought no biggy- she has a 2 and a half year old. We agreed that I would leave instructions on how I do things and how the baby normally is. Yesterday I found out she was taking the milk that I had premade (a mix of formula and breast milk) and just left it out for like three hours and fed it to my baby. Then today she olny changed the diaper ONCE IN 9 1/2 HOURS! I have been keeping a count on the diapers just to make sure that I have enough every day. I know there was 9 when I left this morning and 8 when I got home! What do I do?!?!! I dont know how to tell her that it has to be changed at least every 2-3 hours since I have already written that and reinterated it.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on May. 15, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • How long has she been your friend? And how close are you as friends? As hard as it would be, I would be honest and sit down for a serious chat. Explain that everyone does things differently and you aren't judging her but that you also have certain expectations for your child that may differ from hers. You should tell her that in order to make the transition to work better for you and your baby, the baby's routine needs to stay the same, which means that diapers need to be changed every so often (however often you used to change it) and that you have concerns about the milk being left out as well. Chalk it up to you being overly cautious (if you are worried about offending her) but explain that you would be much more relaxed at work if you knew things were continuing to be done the way you used to do them. Good luck with it all!!

    Answer by momtwice2009 at 9:46 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • I would definitely look for another sitter! That sounds awful!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • Most likely the best approach would be to find another person who is capable of caring for your child to your standards and say thank you for watching my baby, "insert new person" Will be taking care of her from now on. Simple as that. If you have the money to spend take your baby to a daycare facility until you can work something else out, if not and this is the only person you're stuck with... ask her. Say something to the effect: How many times did you change the baby while I was away? I swear there were only nine diapers and now there are eight?? Remind her not to leave the milk out because it will spoil and can make your baby sick.

    Answer by momofkearra at 12:20 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • Get someone who actually CARES to watch your child. That's disgusting...wonder how she treats her OWN child....

    Answer by Kaytlynsmommy at 12:23 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • She is foreign and her 2 1/2 year old isnt potty trained yet and she doesnt really do things the way most "americans" would. I dont have any other care options until I hear more tomorrow and I am paying her well and I know she care for my baby girl and loves her, I just think she doesnt know the "standards." And I really dont want to hurt her feelings. I kinda am pissed now that she got mad that when my baby pooped it didnt stay in her diaper but well... DUUUHH! If it is full of pee it isnt going to hold the POOP!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • I have to say I"d go on public assistance before I ever let anyone besides me my husband or grandma watch my kids .. and I mean it.... I dont care what others think of me

    Answer by MELRN at 12:29 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • Milk is fine out room temp for 4 hours. As far as diapers I'd talk to her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • Usually I would say just talk to her about it, but chances are if she's being that neglectful (1 diaper in 9 1/2 hrs) then there could be other things she is doing that you don't know about it. I mean come on she has a child, she knows better. I guess it's nice she's doing a favor but it doesn't really count as a favor is she's neglecting your child. Personally I would be pissed. Do you have some one else who could watch your child?

    Answer by michelle0228 at 12:36 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • Ok if she got mad that the poop didn't "stay in the diaper" then that shows you she only changed the diaper because it leaked. As for you paying her, I assumed she was doing it for free, definitely find some one else, I would be furious. You are paying her to take care of your child not leave your child sitting in poop and pee for 9 hrs! If you continue to let her watch your child say something, don't worry about hurting her feelings. She is an adult and your child is an infant, stand up for your baby. You have no reason to feel bad for making sure your child is properly cared for, that's what being a mother is about. Good luck.

    Answer by michelle0228 at 12:44 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • i agree that you should say somethign...

    but what is wrong with a 2 1/2 year old NOT being potty trained? what does that have to do with anything?

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 1:19 AM on May. 15, 2009