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Using a tampon is like having sex ?

Ok,my step daugther started her period and asked me what supplies i had to use and i said either what ever makes you feel easy over using or we can go to the store and i will let you pick,but feel free to ask any questions which she loved since her mom will not buy her supplies,it is each girls on issue since it's there body.
Well she decided on tampons because she wanted to go swimming.
Later after she returned home her mom brought her to the doctor and said that i lost her daughters virginity since using a tampon is like having sex.
This child is so now embarrased by her body and to ask questions.
I asked my step daughter is she wanted to call her mom for advice she said no however,i tried to call just to inform her but she was gone getting high to find out.
what would you do the doctor told her it was no big deal but next time tell me her religious beliefs so i follow them.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on May. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (32)
  • Tell your step daughter's mother that she's being inconciderate of her daughter's feelings and that you think she should try to inform her daughter of the realities of life rather than stifling her intelligence due to some unresearched opinion. (okay that's a little harsh, but COME ON! this lady sounds like a moron who is causing her daughter to have serious emotional issues)
    Tell your step daughter that no matter what her mother tells her the doctor has explained that she is still a virgin and tampons are perfectly safe to use. It doesn't alter anything down there. Also extend yourself to answer any questions for her that she may have... Lord knows her mom isn't going to explain safe sex practices and condoms! (she most likely assumes the girl just won't have sex)

    Answer by momofkearra at 12:56 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • continued,she was going to file abuse charges against me for doing this to her child until her daughter said she did nothing wrong.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • okay may I ask you a serious question.... Where is her father in all of this? Why hasn't he fought for sole custody of his daughter? Let her file a claim, i'm positive the court would find her incompetent and take the kid away from her after such a bizaar statement.

    Answer by momofkearra at 12:59 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • Ok first of all, using a tampon is absolutely not like having sex. My mom wouldn't let me use tampons as a young girl because she said, and I quote, "No, because then your husband won't know if you're a virgin or not." I kid you not that's what she thought and said. Even at that age, I knew that wasn't true. As soon as I had a job, I was buying my own tampons regardless of what my mom thought.

    I guarantee you using a tampon has absolutely no effect on how sex is. My first time at sex hurt a lot and I bled - so I know my husband knew I was still a virgin....

    That mother is seriously misinformed. I hope your stepdaughter will still confide in you and ask you for advice and/or help.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • OP here:Yes,the mom is on her third marriage and has other children by other men.
    She has had to take parenting classes and had the children removed in the past,the kids have been to court for being molested by her friends however our state feels that children especially girls are best served by being with thier moms.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • Op,father is involved and we have been in a three year court battle our state does not change custody quick...he has many counselors,guardian ad litem involved,police,welfare whatever is for the kids not just about the mother, but first and formost for there best interests.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • MAKE SURE you ask the doctor to represent and speak for you in court either in person or via a written and signed legal document stating the incident and what happened.

    Answer by momofkearra at 1:04 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • op here to continue: the tampon claim we think is a tactic to make us look bad however,it will fail to show her character as a mother and person,we just hope it does not affect the daughter she has used the kids for her own gains and my husband will not play them like that.
    which is why we have mediators involved( counselors,guardian ad litem,police,cps) for them during all this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • as well as if you can prove that she is using illegal drugs while caring for her daughter and have the cops come over and "bust" her... that helps in court too. I'd say that you don't have a very good lawyer if he hasn't gotten custody by now. It seems awfully long for a court to not know which parent and/or household is a safe and loving home. (of course, this goes without knowing either of you) but based on your question i assume you're at least more intelligent and loving than she!

    Answer by momofkearra at 1:06 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • Well..To lose your virginity you have to be penetrated by a PENIS not a tampon, so this lady has some issues she needs worked out. It could be more of a jealousy issue, maybe she thinks you are trying to take over her role?
    I think she is fortunate to have you as a step mother.

    Answer by Marix3 at 1:12 AM on May. 15, 2009

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