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"Make him call me daddy".....

Me and the father of my kids are separated. He tends to make promises to the kids and hardly ever follows thru. Our 12 yr old son has pretty much had it with him. He began to call his father a liar. I stepped in to correct the situation. I mean liar or not I don't think a child should be calling their parent that. At the same time, I felt it was only right to confront their dad about making broken promises to the kids. Anyhow, he now calls his dad by his last name..Mr. Man and introduces him to others that way. The twins (10 yrs old) are now calling him that. Their dad is on fire about this and expects me to correct them. I said no b/c I would never bad mouth him to the kids, but they are getting old enough to see things for how they really are. Why should I have to pickup the his pieces everytime he lies to the kids? Am I in the wrong?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on May. 15, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I dont think you are wrong. I think you are doing GREAT! not allowing the children to bad mouth their father is wonderful, but you're also allowing them to see for themselves how things really are AND your letting them express that to a certain extent. Good for you momma!
    You must certianly do not need to fix anything that he has broken. You can only do your part. Which i think you are doing great at!
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:53 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • You don't have to pick up the pieces. If you were to correct your kids and not aknowledge how selfish their father is than they will lose respect for you. They are old enough to see through him. So they will know that you are full of it. HE put himself in this position. HE needs to realize what an a** he has been and accept the consequences HE has caused. If he wants the title of dad he has to earn it. I understand that your kids don't want to call him "dad". They don't have that relationship with him, why would they feel comfortable calling him that? It would be the same as calling some other adult they barely know "dad".
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • my DD is only 15 months old, but i dont' think you are in the wrong. My mom always tells me, that your children are going to grow up, and no matter what you told them when they are younger, they will eventually see everything for what it really is. That is what is going on with your children, at least that is what it sounds like. You are in the right, if their father wants to keep neglecting them, and breaking those promises, then he deserves the resentment because it would come with any parent who did it. Telling him to do what he says, and follow through was definitely right.
    LunarEclipse

    Answer by LunarEclipse at 1:48 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • THE BOYS FEEL BETRAYED BY HIM,NATURALLY THEY DEFEND THEIR MOM JUST BE GLAD THEY LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!
    2mothershelpers

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 2:03 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • I wouldn't force the kids to call him dad, HE chose to lie to the kids and he needs to deal with the consequences of his actions. Also, he just needs to deal with the kids calling him a liar, HE IS. All of them all old enough to know what is going on and make their own decisions. My son calls his father by his first name and I will NOT encourage him to do otherwise, his father decided to be a loser and he has to deal with that. Kids aren't dumb and they should have choices. Your ex is the one that has to deal with the issue, he needs to stop lying and maybe his kids will come around. MAYBE.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:30 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • he needs a good kick in the arse. He brought it upon himself and now doesn't like the end result. Tough! If he was a real father to these kids then yeah I 'd say something but he's a liar and god only knows what else. I'm so sorry your having to deal with this.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 12:56 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • You call him "your father" and "the boy's father" or whatnot. That's the extent of your obligation, IF it even goes that far.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on May. 15, 2009