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Has anyone else had their SO or a close one leave for the military? What'd you do to get through it?

my SO just left on Sunday for boot camp. he'll be gone 4 months... i'm having a really tough time with it and need some advice on what to do to keep busy and what not. and it drives me crazy that i don't know what he's doing or if he's hurt... does anybody have any idea what they go through?? i'm really hurting and need some advice...

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on May. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I went to boot camp for the army. Dont worry hes going to be ok. Its going to be hard for him but he will be fine. If he gets hurt then you will get a call. So dont worry about him being hurt youll know if he is. As far as what they are doing it all depends on what branch of the service he is in. I know with the army and the airforce if you go on their website it will tell you week by week what they are doing. It helped my mom feel alot better about me going because i was only 17 at the time.And i know 4 months is a long time but it goes by faster then you think. And you should get calls every so often. I was able to call home every sunday and i was allowed to use my cellphone so i could talk longer. But its usually only a 5 min phone call. Not much but it makes you feel alot better. And he helps both you and him stay stromg just being able to hear eachothers voice.Im getting ready for my DH to deploy and he will be gone 15 mo

    Answer by Shelii at 10:59 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • If you feel like you need someone to talk to you can always message me.

    Answer by Shelii at 11:00 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • he's in the army national guard... there's a place that gives you week by week info?? do i just google it?? that'd be great! and i'm sorry to hear about your DH... that'll be rough. i can't imagine it... and thanks, Shelii. i might take you up on that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • I was in army basic training two years ago in South Carolinia. Do not worry about him being hurt there they take major steps to keep people safe. They can see the doctors if they ask. Yes accidents happen but they will be taken care of if something happens. As for you there are alot of things you can do. Go shopping or to lunch and catch up with old friends. Start working out at a gym, keep busy. Are you going to see him on Graduation day? Also write alot of letters that really helps while he is there but keep all of them positive and upbeat. They are dealing with enough and dont needbad news or negativity. Dont feel frustrated if you dont get alot of mail right away we had a mailbox and I swear it wasnt like for 2 weeks before they came and emptied it to take out. My dh said he got 10 letters from me in one day lol.Also see if you can find an online support group for people with loved ones in boot camp and if he is in the

    Answer by okmommy08 at 11:04 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • My DH was in the Navy, and would go out to sea for 6 months at a time. He also spent 1 week out of every month in the field when he WAS home.

    Honestly, what worked for me was 1-I wrote lots of letters and 2-I read a lot of books. I lived at the library. It gave me something else to focus on when I wasn't at work.

    Answer by mancosmomma at 11:12 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • I haven't gone through it yet, but my husband is leaving for basic training in 25 days :( And our son is going to be born while he is gone. I really don't think that there is anything I can do to really prepare myself for him being gone, I'm just going to have to find the strength from somewhere inside me to be strong for our family. My mom is coming down to help out with the newborn for a while and then I'm going to go up to West Virginia with her until he gets into tech school (his tech school is 20+ we get to move with him after 30 days). So maybe you could try something like that, spending time with family. Lately I have also been reading up a lot about everything military. You could go to and search military and read about what he's doing now :)

    Answer by SandraB383 at 11:15 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • It is something that you adjust to. It is hard, and you will worry. My husband was gone for 15 months just got back last May and is leaving at the end of the summer for a year. I was pregnant the first time so that kept me busy. I focused on my appointments, did a move, and worked. I am looking for a job again because I don't want to be home all the time with nothing to do but worry. It is hard and you get used to it, if anything I think it has improved our marriage because we appreciate the time we have together so much more. Just keep busy with the kids, volunteer, or work. I think that is the best thing to keep your mind sane. You will get through it.

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 11:17 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • I met my husband after he was already in, but he's been deployed 3 times for a total of 39 months. Our shortest deployment was 12 months and our longest was 15.

    The best thing to do is to develop your own routine. Get into your own groove. 4 months will go by SO fast. But remember to include him in it, and sometime during your day, write him a letter. It always helps me feel closer to my husband when I write to him.

    Don't worry too much about him getting hurt. They will take care of him.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 11:19 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • My SO is military and goes TDY often. He's in PA now (we live in FL). There is nothing I can do about it but send him emails, IMs and make plans for when he returns. I write in my diary. I write to him. I think of him often and light up like a child seeing Santa at xmas when he walks in the door! I think these breaks made the relationships stronger. You get to let the small things you disagreed on disappear as not important. You think about things you do think are important and focus on them. It will be fine. Time will start out slowly but will end up going by quickly.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:24 AM on May. 15, 2009

  • My hubby is military and currently deployed. Separation is something your just going to have to accept. Its not going to get any better after basic. One this to keep in mind is no news is good news. If something happens to him, you'll know. If you arent hearing anything, he's fine.
    I usually keep a journal while he's gone. We get to email alot but sometimes I know my feelings will only make him feel worse so I get them out in a journal. Also, get involved with your community, volunteer, take the kids places, etc.

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 1:33 PM on May. 15, 2009

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