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1 year old time out?

My son doesn't like to be told no. When he is getting in trouble I will say a firm no, not yelling, just firm. He has started throwing fits when he hears it. He will throw his toys around him and throw himself back and kick at me and my husband. I don't know what to do so I have been putting him in time out in his play pen. He screams and cries the whole time he is in there. I don't know what else to do.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on May. 15, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • being a 1st time mom, I dont feel comfortable discipling my 1 yr old yet since he doesnt quite understand yet (time out), if he does something "bad" and ignores my firm NO or UH UH, I just take his hand and lead him to somewhere or something else. most of the time it works, sometimes he goes right back to what he wasnt supposed to do. like the other day he kept messing with the cat dish, which has the screw in option for 2 liter bottles for the water dish. my son LOVES to mess with it. oneday it spilled and he slipped. he still does it, but not as intense. he learned his lesson the hard way

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 12:43 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • He is to young for time outs..He does not understand it. Best thing to do is what ever he is getting into put it up..Or lock it. when he throws toys..Put the toys up.

    Answer by louise2 at 12:44 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • I mostly started the time outs because he was hurting himself when he would throw himself around on the floor. I just don't know what to do. I do take the toys away he throws and that just makes it worse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • I have a 18 month old boy who likes to hit when he's 1) frustrated and 2) get a reaction. Mostly frustrated though.

    I started with a time out on a bench (10 seconds). but it just wasn't working. I took a long look at what was happening and decided he's 1) very frustrated because he can't communicate when he's mad and 2) he thinks I'm leaving him when i put him in time out. So I started an alternative.

    1) Be consistent.
    2) Held his hand down.
    3) Spoke very clearly and loudly, "MAD! MAD! MAD!" Giving him the words to use and to tell him I understand what he's feeling. And I even looked mad to show him I get it. When he's sad (and you know the difference) but he isn't hitting, I say "SAD, SAD, SAD" and i look sad and mimic crying. I TRY to not have these words come out of my mouth, "NO!" "I Know..." "Poor baby". Took about a few days and I saw (felt) less hitting.
    4) I sit with him, he's not alone

    Answer by lynnard at 12:54 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • And take the toys away. He'll 'get' that.

    Answer by lynnard at 12:55 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • We use the Love and Logic approach. With a 1 year old you would just say, "Uh Oh, looks like a little time out (or whatever you want to call it - we say crib time because we put them in their cribs)". You say this in a sing songy voice (not mad or mean) as you carry him to the playpen. When you put him down you say, "I'll be back when you're sweet". Then you wait until he calms down and is quiet for about a minute and go pick him up. At this point you can say something like, "I'm so glad to have my sweet boy back", and give him a hug and a kiss and send him off to play. You don't warn him or threaten him with, "if you don't stop I'll put you in the playpen" or anything like that; you just whisk him away every time he misbehaves. You also don't try to explain to him why he was in trouble because he knows or will soon figure it out. CONTINUED

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 12:56 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • i give my 15 month old time outs and he knows exactly what it is. i sit him in a chair in his room (i have to stay there too so he wont get up) but its no fun, he has to stop, and by the end of it (its a very short time out) i just repeat to him that he is in time out for doing whatever and ask him not to do it again. usually i only have to give him one time out and he will catch right on. then the next time he acts up i ask him 'do you want time out?' and he says 'nooooooooo' and stops what hes doing. the key is consistancy. good luck! =) (oh btw the fit throwing i still havnt figured out how to stop with him, my husband and i just walk away or ignore it if he is throwing a fit and he stops pretty quickly)

    Answer by disheveled at 12:59 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • Make sure the playpen is in a location away from the action and where he can't see everyone because seeing you just prolongs his attempts to get your attention (you do stay close by, but you don't interact with him). We started this with our twins around 17 months and within a week or two things were MUCH better. One of them does cry longer than I like, but she is the more willful one and it has gotten better. The other one straightens up almost immediately when he hears, "Uh Oh". This approach really keeps things loving and difuses conflict.

    BTW, I think you are off to a good start. I know the crying can make you want to give in, but really he will behave worse if he thinks he can "win". Good luck.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 1:03 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • I used to work in the infant room at a Preschool and we did not time out children age infant to 11/2
    We just moved them and said No dont do what ever, they get it eventually- but it doesnt happen over night - have patience- hes just a baby. They learn through repition.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on May. 15, 2009

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