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Is it only be or does anyone have a workaholic husband, are in menopause and lost themself somewhere along the way raising the kids?

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Asked by jseitzinger at 5:39 PM on May. 15, 2009 in About CafeMom

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Answers (5)
  • Husband is in the military, so he isn't home that much, and I am raising our daughter again because he isn't around much. I am not going through menopause but I feel like I have lost myself. It is not just you. It is so hard being a mom and having to do everything yourself. You are considered a bad mother if you focus on yourself and not your children, then you feel guilty, but in the process you lose who you are. In the words of Emma Goldman:

    . . . the mother - what a terrible picture! Is there indeed anything more terrible, more criminal, than our glorified sacred function of motherhood?

    It is such a difficult and fine line to walk. You are not alone and their are kindred spirits out there! 


    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 5:47 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • I'm past menopause with three kids that i've raised through a year with a child in the military and five years also with husband in grad school and a full time job since then that has left him still with little time for family. i've had a child in emergency surgery from a bad accident and two days later planned surgery for another child. i've been left alone by him after baby and babies born right after coming home from hospital. the list goes and goes. but through it all with my doubts of my marriage my knowledge of my strength for children has held fast and long. you can mess with my kids but then ya gotta mess with me.

    how old are your children? Are you in menopause or past? my strength is compassion and caring for kids and animals. what were your strengths in the past? what are they now?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • oh and a couple of years ago someone gave to me the poem 'Strength of A Woman" it has some difference of wording from people's memory and where ever it's found but the meaning of a woman's strength is strong. Remember too that before the world knew you'd be born female the world knew you'd be born. Focus on your accomplishments and skills, strengths no matter that you're a woman of what ever age with x children and absent husband. You're worthy of life and your interests because you've been given life and second to that you've given life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • sorry for another response by me. i'm in my midfifties with a 16 year old and two kids older than that. what ever your circumstances exactly like 2-1CavWife said you're not alone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:29 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • As a woman in my 40's, I am not in menopause, yet. My husband travels alot! I am also suffering through the empty nest syndrome. I recently went to hypnotherapy. I would strongly suggest it to any woman who needs a little time for herself. It's an excellent way to relax, and learn how to live for yourself.

    Answer by m-avi at 8:09 PM on May. 15, 2009

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