Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do I do when I don't feel desired??

My SO has not wanted to have sex in months. We have had out side stress but I find he has been on the net looking at Porn sites but he won't have sex with me. He says it is him not me.. We cuddle a lot and still go and do everything together.. But I just feel very unwanted.. then to find the web sites... He is afraid I will leave him if we don't have sex. I don't want to leave but I don't want to be lost either.. Help!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:33 PM on May. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • You should consider marriage counseling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • Maybe you should tell him how you feel, find out what is causing him to feel the way he does! I have heard of some men not wanting to have sex with their SO after they have a child because the now see you as a "motherly figure" but they still love them! Really just think of everything going on in your relationship, he has to have shown some signs of why he doesnt want to have sex.

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 7:46 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • We have talked at great length. He knows where I am at. We have had a few things but nothing that bad. I just don't see why he needs the net and not me. I mena I am ok with porn and all but not to replace anything. More for fun...

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:53 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • Well I doubt that your the problem, maybe he is telling the truth it is him. but the question is why, what is going on. There is always a problem when porn is replacing sex. Maybe you should go and get the kama sutra book, or go to get something to add to your sex life to make it more exciting, make him want you! Intoduce something to try and keep him on his toes, maybe he just got bored. When your with someone for a long time, it may get boring! Go a little bit out of the comfort zone, and show him something exciting! Make a whole night out of it, maybe rent a hotel room, and go a wild on him! lol i hope this helps!

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 8:30 PM on May. 15, 2009

  • Well I am a bit wild to begin with.. I tried this last weekend. I dressed up in a little black satin number and set up the bed for him to tkae pics of me thing it would lead to something more. This is something he always wants is pictures of me. But He was trying to rush and figure out a way to decline and not hurt my feelings. I have toys and he does not care for them. I am truly at a loss. I Love him but I am not going to continue this way! I did this in my last relationship and it was not good for me! I can't go back there, to being the waiting woman with needs. YOu have been very helpful. I just still don't know what to do!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on May. 15, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.