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does anybody know how to begin a legal seperationj or divorce?

I am a mother of three small children, 3, 2, & 7 months. I want to get a divorce because my spouse is mean to me and because he still lives the life of a single 25 year old while I sit at home taking care of our babies. I have spent the last three nights at my parents but Ifeel like I am at a loss for where to go from here. I cannot stay at my parents and I do not have the means t0 support the children and myself without his financial help. Do I suck it up and stay with him? I worry that if I wait any longer the kids may be traumatized....Can anyone help me?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:34 AM on May. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Find a lawyer. If you can't afford one, try to find a legal aid service. Depending on your state laws, you may be able to obtain an emergency order making him pay child & spousal support to you. This would be a temporary order & may or may not change when your divorce is finalized. Start documenting everything he says & does to you to help build your case. Use the internet to start researching divorce law in your state. For example, where I live in Washington, divorce is no fault. So the fact that he is mean to you means nothing to the court. But different states have different rules. You might be able to force him to move out of the house as well. But again, you really need to find an attorney who can help you. Good luck. PM me if you need to talk.

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 1:43 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • It depends on the state. Most are now no-fault, so you can file the paperwork with your court and ask for child support to start immediately. You can usually find the paperwork on the court's website.

    Answer by Busimommi at 2:23 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • Go to your courthouse and ask if they do something called a 'lawyer for a day'. They provide services for next to nothing (my aunt did this). Or you can ask the court if they know of any lawyers taking on pro bono cases as you do not financially have the means to proceed with the divorce. They will help you. Another option is to find a lawyer on your own and explain that you don't have the finances and see if they will take you on. I recently contacted a lawyer and he offered me a discounted hourly rate in order to help me. I didn't yet retain him because hubby said he's working on things so I'm giving the chance.

    Best wishes for you and your children.

    Answer by rio_burb at 8:09 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • I went to Legal Aid. They fixed me right up. I'm happily divorced now. It was much easier to be a single mom of three than deal with a guy like my x (and who sounds like your dh).

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:50 AM on May. 16, 2009

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