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Am I wrong to travel for business meeting and miss daughter's 'walk' to get her on-line Masters Degree?

Important meeting, and she took two years to get her Masters on line, is it that important to go to the college to watch her 'walk', I will attend party on weekend and buy gift. She is almost 40 with children of her own.

 
CaliHi

Asked by CaliHi at 3:57 AM on May. 16, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (24)
  • It depends on your relationship and her personality and yours. If my mom couldn't go to my 'walk" I could care less, I'm not too apt to go myself. BUT that being said each family has its own dynamic. If she's going and she's having a party chances are the its REALLY important to her and she may need to demonstrate that you are making effort to be there for her BIG DAY. It may be a matter of needing you to VALIDATE how IMPORTANT a milestone this is and to show that you are PROUD of what she has accomplished, b/c it is a big accomplishment and on-line degrees are often not the "mail aways" of the past. They are just a way to get a degree and education that may not be possible for those far from unversites etc. most MAJOR universities offer on-line classes/degrees nowadays.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 9:15 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • Put yourself in her shoes. If you'd worked two years for a Master's Degree...and it doesn't matter whether it was online or not, the work is still the work...would you feel upset if someone important in your life skipped on the graduation ceremony?

    If the meeting is vital, she'll probably understand. Personally, I'd reschedule the meeting unless it HAD to happen at that time and was life or death.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:08 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • This is your daughter and an important time in her life. You shouldn't even have to ask this question. It doesn't matter if she is 20 and getting her masters. I know I would say, Who or what is more important than my children and their lifes dreams?My answer: Absolutely nothing. I hope you haven't told her what kind of a dilemna you are facing because that would probably break her heart!
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:23 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • Odds are good that I'll be near 40 when I graduate with my Masters. I'm 29 and won't be done with my bachelor's til I'm around 33 or 34, and yes, I have kids. I would be crushed if my mom missed something so important to me.

    If anything, working for a Masters as an older student with your own children to care for is so much harder than doing it without that added responsibility. Being an online degree doesn't make it easier - as it stands, generally speaking, online coursework is more demanding.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 6:11 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • Yes you should go! Can't believe you are even asking!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • My mom wasn't able to make it to my high school graduation and I survived and walked without her there. I am in college now (online) and I would love for her to share the joy of my graduation if she can't for whatever reason, she can't.My mom is my best friend but It will not put a damper on my day if she can't be there, i'm a big girl. But, I do think if it is important to your daughter that you be there, then you should do whatever you can to make sure you can be. It's not about the gift or party, it's about being able to share an important experience for her with the people she loves most. :-)
    CrystalJC73

    Answer by CrystalJC73 at 9:35 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • It is a special occasion. And the fact that she is 40 makes it even more exciting. She'll survive if you don't go, but make sure the message you are sending is OK with you to send. That your business comes first. and if fact this may be a crucial meeting, a once in a lifetime important absolutely necessary meeting. If you possibly could, could you attend the graduation and then fly out that evening? The party is not as important as the walk. It would likely mean a lot to her for you to be there. When in doubt, work it out. If the meeting could be given to someone else, if you could show up a day late or leave a day early... something. If not, then you'll know you tried, and you could even leave the meeting for a few minutes to call her when the ceremony is over - call her at this crucial time to let her know that you care and that you wish that you could have been there.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:41 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • I think it depends on your relationship with your daughter. My mom and I have a great relationship but if she couldn't make it to a graduation ceremony then I would be fine with it. She's there for me every other day of my life, missing one occassion isn't going to kill me. In fact, it might be good for me, she won't live forever. It might make it easier later, to do some of those important occassions without her now. Like practice almost.

    On the other hand my sister and my mom aren't as close and my sister tends to hold on to things. Like she's still talking about the time we "abandoned" her while we were shopping (we hadn't) and my missing her HS graduation. So yes, she would forigve mom for not making it, she wouldn't ever forget it either.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 10:18 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • I didn't attend my own walk for my Master's so I don't see that it's a problem. My mom didn't attend any of my walks (five degrees) and it was ok. Just acknowledging the accompishment should suffice. If not then she's an immature 40 so nothing you would have chosen would be the right choice. Go pack.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:24 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • Oh of course you should go. Regardless of her age she is still your daughter. I would think you would move heaven and earth to share in such a momentous occasion.

    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 10:38 AM on May. 16, 2009