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Would you stop being a friend?

If you found out that one of your friends had bipolar disorder or some other mental illness, but it was completely under control. Would you stop being their friend? Why or why not?

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momma2roo

Asked by momma2roo at 9:15 AM on May. 16, 2009 in Health

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Answers (14)
  • If I am their friend, it means that we have things in common and enjoy each other's company. That we would help each other out in bad times and rejoice with them in good times. This would not change if I found out that she has bipolar disorder. She would still be a person whose company I enjoyed.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:24 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • Not if it were COMPLETELY under control--and it would be on a case by case basis as everyone is different. However, I have known several people with BPD, and even when they are taking their medication properly, they can still have bouts of euphoria and depression within a short amount of time, and that can really be hard to deal with as it is very emotionally draining--no matter how helpful and supportive the friend is.

    When BPD becomes a "crutch" for things not going as planned, or used for emotional blackmail, it only serves to alienate people.

    Those with BPD need to learn through therapy how to manage their mood swings and realize everyone has their own problems, and sometimes the BPD persons problems do not take precedent over another persons problems. Those with BPD cannot automatically blame others when they "are never there for them," which in my experience happens VERY frequently. It's not personal, it's life.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:28 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • I would still be a friend to a certain point.Like effecting your kids, or hurting your family.But if they just needed someone to talk to, or help them out sometimes, I would do that much.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 9:41 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • I think most of my friends have had mental illnesses of some sort and all of them have been great friends through the years.
    MythicMMM

    Answer by MythicMMM at 9:55 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • I have a friend who has BPD... She didn't tell me until we had been hangin out for quite some time. I found out later that rather than buying her meds, she was wasting that $ on illegal drugs. I'm still her friend, but we dnt hang out anymore. Not b/c of BPD, but bGc I can't have my kids around drugs & that lifestyle. When she's on an upswing, she gets off the drugs... Stays clean 4 awhile, we take the kids 2 the pool or whatever. But when she's on a dwnward spiral...watch out world! & we lose touch. She knows my boundaries & where 2 find me if she needs me. I'll never stop bein there for her!
    ~ALSO~
    I work w/mentally disabled adults. These guys r the sweetest ppl. They appreciate EVERYTHING u do for them. I mean EVERYTHING! I get thanked for things like cooking their food or washing their clothes.
    bridgeh2o

    Answer by bridgeh2o at 10:10 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • No as I understand that it is a mental disease that she had no control over whether or not she would have it. And the fact that I would feel discriminatory against her. I would not stop being her friend if I had found out that she had any other disease.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • I don't understand the question. Why would an illness be a reason to stop being someone's friend?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:45 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • Absolutely not ! Would you shop being friends with some one with Cancer or some other Disease ? I believe that some may choose to keep a distance at certain times with ones that are bi polar or have other manic tendancies, but I would only do that to protect my family. I suffer from anxiety and minor depression related to spinal damage so I guess I too have a mental disease. I have never thought of hurting myself or anyone else and only take small amounts of meds for my issues. Anyone that knows me also knows that I am a very responsible person with a large heart and always willing to help. I can care for their children or just be there for a question or concern they may have. Wouldn't you like a friend like that ?
    fergy4ever

    Answer by fergy4ever at 12:13 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • No, I wouldn't. It seems that she could use as many supportive people around her as possible. now if she started acting out of control and those things became unhealthy for you and your child, that would be a different story. But from what you described, i bet she would really appreciate and value you as a listener and confidant!
    TrezsMom

    Answer by TrezsMom at 1:20 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I have bipolar disorder and I am incredibly stable and able to keep a job. A lot of people have misconceptions about someone living with a mental illness, so I do not tell alot of my friends, even close ones that I have it because of the stigma and discrimination attached to it. It is just something that I have learned to live with and not use as a crutch or a reason I should be treated differently. I act appropriately(most times, I am still a little crazy but who isn't right? lol) so I find there is no need to let anyone know about my condition. I do not want them to see me differently or be scared of there own well being or that of there children. I am not an unsafe person to be around and I do not want to be treated as such. Thanks for listening.
    dizzy77702

    Answer by dizzy77702 at 3:35 PM on May. 16, 2009

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