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Are emotional affairs cheating?

My husband has many female friends, I do not know them personally. They chat on line, talk and text on the phone. He claims that this is innocent. I feel differently. I have read some of the ims and they were sexually explicit, but he claims they mean nothing. One lady from work sent a masturbation video, but he claims she is only a friend and wouldn't date a married man, why would she send that type of video ? I am at my wits end. I want to believe him, but my gut says no. This same lady saw us at a store and instead of introducing herself if she was in deed just a friend or coworker stared at me with intense anger in her eyes. He told me later after leaving the store that she was his friend from work. I am losing it. I feel that he is lying, but I don't have proof.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on May. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Trust your gut. There's something going on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • ewww about the masturbation video. No, there is something going on in the minds of these women, especially the one you mentioned. Your husband may be enjoying the porn aspect of it, and the thrill that this woman is after him, but this is not mature on his part, nor where his duty lies as a husband. He should break it off, and since you won't know for sure that it is broken off and not just hidden, then possibly some couples counseling is in order.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:26 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • If she was just a friend, she wouldn't send a sexual video to your husband.

    I would be livid!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • You have all the proof you need. Platonic and healthy "friendships" with members of the opposite sex do not contain sexual tones. To answer your question directly I personally think that emotional affairs are worse than a sexual affair. Good luck honey and I hope you can get things resolved.

    Answer by mamakirs at 10:28 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • An emotional affair is far worse than a physical affair and they often lead to physical affairs. You have every right to be upset. And the fact that this woman is sending your husband videos of her masturbating is disgusting. Your husband is definitely having an affair with that woman. I am so sorry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • It's just play time. It means nothing. It's like an interactive porn video. Ppl have done it online for decades and never really cheated. There is no intent to steal your man. She probably just scowled at you bc you limit playtime. Playtime is fun and the child in us wants to play too much sometimes. He's your husband. You know what he's like. Trust him if you know him to be a faithful man. I've talked with men who would never in a million years really cheat on their wife but sometimes they just want to play and let all the stresses of their life go. Wife tends to want to discuss all the negative crap and dump more responsibility on them. He needs a vacation from it all and he chooses it online. See if you can replace her as his fantasy playmate. That might turn his head away from the monitor. Make a masturbation video and send it to him. Fight fire with fire!

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:43 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • That's ridiculous! Married men shouldn't "play".

    The girl is angry because she's more than likely emotionally and mentally attached to her husband!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • PLAY TIME? are you out of your mind? That is by far one of the most stupid statements I have ever EVER read on CM.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • As much as I like porn, that is definitely stepping over the line. Anything of a sexual nature from some one you know IRL is not good! Plus this woman is clearly expecting more of a relationship from your husband. I would have a cow and a half.

    Answer by MythicMMM at 10:58 AM on May. 16, 2009

  • If its just "playtime" then why dont you ask him to video tape you to send out to friends...see if he would like that....let him see if he likes the shoe on the other foot, so to speak. I bet he wont like it at all! Dont really follow understand, just go the the motions like you have extra "friends" and sharing moments...just enough to get his attention...if he doesnt care that your doing that...then baby you got problems....all guys are territorial. Its their caveman thing...LOL! he could be a sex addict and not realize it. Sex addicts dont always act out but need the constant attention. I so sorry that your dealing with this...good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on May. 16, 2009

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