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What do you do when in-laws step all over you, and hubby is a mommy's boy so mommy-in-law steps all over wifey? She won't listen unless he supports me, and I can't. I've tried the nice way, even threats, and nothing! what do I do

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x0x0mommyx0x0

Asked by x0x0mommyx0x0 at 12:43 AM on Jun. 21, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • That's awful..sorry to hear this. Husband MUST seperate himself from parents and side with his wife. If you've already tried to tell him and talk to him how it makes you feel and call your MIL disrespect towards you to his attention...and nothing, I would try it again the nice way. I don't know what more you can do I can imagine that puts ALOT of stress on relationship. Otherwise I would not mention any of my issues other than friendly small talk to the MIL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • My best friend is in your same boat. After three years of trying to make him understand that this is not how you treat or allow your mother to treat your best friend (wife) She filed for divorce last week. I'm sorry for her, but, she'll be fine. I hope you can turn the situaion around for you.
    HottyChef

    Answer by HottyChef at 1:00 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Hi well to answer ur question let me just start off by saying once a man takes a wife his wife comes 1st! Forsaking ALL others meaning even his mother! If your mother in law is disrespecting u and hubby is not being a man and putting his mother in her place like he is supposed to than the next step is that u have to take matters into your own hands. Start off addressing the situation w/hubby and advising him what will be the next step since he's not willing to nip it in the bud. Put her in her place in a respectful way telling her exactly how you feel and not sugar coating anything but at the same time mannerable and like 2 plan adults.plan b is to try getting both of them together also something should pop off... good luck
    Mrz.H

    Answer by Mrz.H at 1:13 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Yeah, well my Mommy Dearest is a creep, too. We recently talked about moving back to her area so she could participate in our child's life and she told my hubby that HE could stay there until he finds a place but not ME because our relationship is "just too fragile". And Hubby Dearest just said "That's ok, mom, I understand". I lit into him when he got off the phone and told him he needs to tell her that if she is going to accept him, she needs to accept me. We're still in the middle of that battlefield.
    renrut3907

    Answer by renrut3907 at 1:28 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I feel for you because I was in the same situation. Even though we are now divorced, while we were married, his mom wore the pants in that family and still does. In his moms eyes, he could do no wrong and everything he did was acceptable, and if you dare stand up for yourself to him or her, the gauntlet was thrown and a major battle ensued! I eventually learned to stand up to her but it made the situation worse ... it even lead to a major blowup which almost turned violent... see, I caught him in another one of his lies and because I confronted him on it and his lie was exposed, she made my life a living hell from that point on ... even more than she did before. I am sorry, but when you are married I believe that your husband should stand behind YOU and back you up on issues that concern you or your children, not cower and bow down to his mother .. that is not a man! Break the apron strings already!
    feistygal1195

    Answer by feistygal1195 at 11:19 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Hard to say, not knowing the specifics. When I want something done, I get hubby's mother to tell him it needs to be done! Only serious things like putting a lock on the hot tub so nobody drowns! Down deep, I think they are all Momma's Boys. Stick to your guns but don't get your underwear in a pretzle! Choose your battles, be respectful and take a time out if it's too heated. Then be honest about why you are skipping out. You deserve to be the number one woman in your husband's life and they both need to know it. Keep you head up and your anger under control even if they don't get it. Have a good, long talk with your hubby about what you expect him to say, do so you feel respected. Best of Luck!
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 7:02 AM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • thanks! for the first time, he did something i was longing for but wasnt expecting. this past saturday i had his mom over for a little reunion and she started attacking us about a medicine she had told us to get, and then got herself for my son. when she asked about it, he said it was working just fine and that we were using it as she told us too. guess what? we havent even opened the bottle. it's on top of the fridge. !!
    x0x0mommyx0x0

    Answer by x0x0mommyx0x0 at 11:22 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

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